1 00:00:43,460 --> 00:00:46,004 ("My Generation" playing in French) 2 00:02:21,432 --> 00:02:24,060 (yelling) 3 00:02:59,470 --> 00:03:04,601 Man: Congratulations, Hudson High class of 2004. 4 00:03:04,684 --> 00:03:07,145 (cheering, screaming) 5 00:03:21,910 --> 00:03:23,953 There she is. Fiona! 6 00:03:25,371 --> 00:03:27,081 Bye. 7 00:03:27,165 --> 00:03:28,374 Hey. 8 00:03:27,165 --> 00:03:28,374 Hey! 9 00:03:28,458 --> 00:03:30,668 (giggling) 10 00:03:28,458 --> 00:03:30,668 Hey, you. 11 00:03:34,047 --> 00:03:36,674 Congratulations, graduate. 12 00:03:34,047 --> 00:03:36,674 Thanks, baby. 13 00:03:36,758 --> 00:03:39,177 And congratulations to you, Cooper. 14 00:03:39,260 --> 00:03:40,887 Aww. Thanks, baby! 15 00:03:41,429 --> 00:03:42,680 Nice try. 16 00:03:42,764 --> 00:03:44,265 All right. See you at wade's party tonight? 17 00:03:44,349 --> 00:03:46,100 See you then. 18 00:03:44,349 --> 00:03:46,100 All right. 19 00:03:47,810 --> 00:03:50,605 So, it's just you and me for the entire summer. 20 00:03:50,688 --> 00:03:53,191 Next year you graduate, join me at college. 21 00:03:53,274 --> 00:03:54,734 Just like we planned. 22 00:03:54,817 --> 00:03:57,570 Scott, we need to talk. 23 00:03:54,817 --> 00:03:57,570 Yeah? About what? 24 00:03:58,529 --> 00:04:00,490 About me dumping you. 25 00:04:00,949 --> 00:04:01,866 Huh? 26 00:04:01,950 --> 00:04:03,159 Man: There he is! 27 00:04:03,242 --> 00:04:06,996 The graduate and his beautiful girlfriend. OK? 28 00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:09,540 Smile, you two! 29 00:04:09,624 --> 00:04:13,002 Action! 30 00:04:09,624 --> 00:04:13,002 Dad, mom, grandma... 31 00:04:13,086 --> 00:04:14,671 Uncle Moke... uh... 32 00:04:14,754 --> 00:04:17,757 I'm gonna need a minute here, OK? 33 00:04:17,840 --> 00:04:19,425 What do you mean, you're dumping me? 34 00:04:19,509 --> 00:04:20,802 Scott, I just can't take 35 00:04:20,885 --> 00:04:23,179 all the lying and cheating on each other anymore. 36 00:04:23,262 --> 00:04:26,140 What are you talking about? Sweetie, I never cheated on you. 37 00:04:26,224 --> 00:04:27,976 I know. That's what makes this so hard. 38 00:04:28,059 --> 00:04:30,770 You're looking good, you guys. 39 00:04:30,853 --> 00:04:32,522 Scotty, it's not you. 40 00:04:32,605 --> 00:04:34,274 It's me. 41 00:04:35,900 --> 00:04:38,569 There I go, lying again. No, it was you. 42 00:04:39,237 --> 00:04:41,030 You're just so... 43 00:04:41,656 --> 00:04:43,157 Predictable. 44 00:04:43,241 --> 00:04:44,617 Smile! 45 00:04:45,410 --> 00:04:46,619 So, that's it. 46 00:04:46,703 --> 00:04:48,538 Here's your letter jacket back. 47 00:04:48,621 --> 00:04:50,206 Goodbye. 48 00:04:51,249 --> 00:04:52,875 This isn't mine. 49 00:04:56,462 --> 00:04:59,674 She's a keeper, huh? Oh, wow. 50 00:05:00,550 --> 00:05:02,552 Oh, my god. 51 00:05:03,803 --> 00:05:05,596 (shouting) Fiona! 52 00:05:06,222 --> 00:05:08,182 (Scott crying) 53 00:05:12,520 --> 00:05:14,272 Cooper: Let's see that again. 54 00:05:17,525 --> 00:05:18,735 Fiona! 55 00:05:18,818 --> 00:05:21,070 This is just so brutal. 56 00:05:18,818 --> 00:05:21,070 (laughing) 57 00:05:21,154 --> 00:05:24,907 And yet I can't look away. Bert, play it again. Come on. 58 00:05:26,534 --> 00:05:29,495 Fiona! 59 00:05:26,534 --> 00:05:29,495 Bert, get out of here. 60 00:05:29,579 --> 00:05:31,414 (chuckling) OK. See you. 61 00:05:31,497 --> 00:05:33,708 All right. Stay black, Bert. 62 00:05:34,417 --> 00:05:36,794 (laughing) "Fiona!" 63 00:05:36,878 --> 00:05:38,796 Computer: Mail, motherfucker! 64 00:05:39,589 --> 00:05:41,215 Hey, I got one from Mieke. 65 00:05:44,343 --> 00:05:46,387 "Happy herzlichen." 66 00:05:46,471 --> 00:05:47,764 You still writing that guy? 67 00:05:47,847 --> 00:05:49,474 I thought that was just for German class. 68 00:05:49,557 --> 00:05:52,810 It was at first, but we're actually becoming good friends. 69 00:05:52,894 --> 00:05:54,520 He's a really cool guy. 70 00:05:54,604 --> 00:06:00,526 "Dear Mieke, greetings from your American pen pal." 71 00:06:00,610 --> 00:06:02,528 Scotty, girl scouts have pen pals. 72 00:06:02,612 --> 00:06:05,573 Listen to yourself, all right? 73 00:06:05,656 --> 00:06:08,534 You met a "cool guy" on the "Internet." 74 00:06:08,618 --> 00:06:10,286 This is how these sexual predators work. 75 00:06:10,369 --> 00:06:13,206 Next thing you know, he'll want to "arrange a meeting" 76 00:06:13,289 --> 00:06:16,751 where he will gas you, stuff you in the back of his van, 77 00:06:16,834 --> 00:06:19,295 and make a wind chime out of your genitals. 78 00:06:20,129 --> 00:06:21,422 Come on, let's go to Wade's. 79 00:06:21,506 --> 00:06:22,465 (chuckling) All right. 80 00:06:22,548 --> 00:06:23,883 Screw it. Let's go. 81 00:06:23,966 --> 00:06:26,552 I'm not gonna let Fiona ruin my graduation night. 82 00:06:26,636 --> 00:06:28,596 Auf wiedersehen, Mieke. 83 00:06:28,679 --> 00:06:30,348 (transmission beeping) 84 00:06:30,431 --> 00:06:32,809 (crowd roaring) 85 00:06:42,902 --> 00:06:45,071 What's up, losers? 86 00:06:42,902 --> 00:06:45,071 What's up, Jenny? 87 00:06:45,154 --> 00:06:46,322 What's up, dude? 88 00:06:46,405 --> 00:06:48,199 Sorry to hear about Fiona. She's a whore. 89 00:06:48,282 --> 00:06:50,576 That's very sweet of you. Thanks. 90 00:06:50,660 --> 00:06:51,953 Enough Fiona talk. 91 00:06:52,036 --> 00:06:54,205 Look around. There's gotta be 100 drunk girls. 92 00:06:54,288 --> 00:06:55,915 We should try to have sex with every one of 'em. 93 00:06:55,998 --> 00:06:58,584 Hello? Mixed company? 94 00:06:58,668 --> 00:06:59,794 What? 95 00:06:59,877 --> 00:07:01,796 I'm a girl! 96 00:06:59,877 --> 00:07:01,796 No, you're not. 97 00:07:01,879 --> 00:07:03,172 You're just a cool guy with long hair. 98 00:07:03,256 --> 00:07:05,758 So, where's your evil twin brother? 99 00:07:05,842 --> 00:07:07,718 Jenny! 100 00:07:07,802 --> 00:07:09,137 There he is. 101 00:07:10,179 --> 00:07:12,390 Hey, Jamie. In fine form, I see. 102 00:07:12,473 --> 00:07:15,935 (grimacing) Why'd you get me gin and tonic? 103 00:07:16,018 --> 00:07:18,604 I hate gin. 104 00:07:16,018 --> 00:07:18,604 You do? 105 00:07:18,688 --> 00:07:21,107 You guys are the worst twins ever! 106 00:07:21,691 --> 00:07:23,526 (crowd chanting) 107 00:07:23,609 --> 00:07:25,820 Crowd: Chug! Chug! 108 00:07:25,903 --> 00:07:28,447 (moaning) 109 00:07:28,531 --> 00:07:30,908 When are you guys taking off? 110 00:07:28,531 --> 00:07:30,908 Tomorrow morning. 111 00:07:30,992 --> 00:07:34,287 Hey, Wade! Great party, bud. 112 00:07:34,370 --> 00:07:35,788 (muffled screaming) 113 00:07:35,872 --> 00:07:37,623 Man, I am so excited! 114 00:07:37,707 --> 00:07:40,418 A whole summer, backpacking around Europe. 115 00:07:40,501 --> 00:07:41,878 You should've come with us 116 00:07:41,961 --> 00:07:44,046 instead of working for Dr. Dad, Scotty! 117 00:07:44,130 --> 00:07:46,716 Oh! It's gonna be so awesome! 118 00:07:46,799 --> 00:07:50,511 Yeah. I planned every detail of the trip 119 00:07:50,595 --> 00:07:52,263 to maximize the fun! 120 00:07:52,346 --> 00:07:53,973 You brought a guidebook to a party? 121 00:07:54,056 --> 00:07:55,641 Do you wanna see my itinerary? 122 00:07:55,725 --> 00:07:57,518 Do you wanna see my balls? 123 00:07:59,103 --> 00:08:00,813 You guys decide where you're gonna go first? 124 00:08:00,897 --> 00:08:02,690 Paris! I can't wait. 125 00:08:02,773 --> 00:08:04,901 Two years ago Nicky Jager's sister, Debbie, 126 00:08:04,984 --> 00:08:06,485 met a wealthy French guy, 127 00:08:06,569 --> 00:08:09,280 and spent a month sailing the Mediterranean on his yacht. 128 00:08:09,363 --> 00:08:12,158 Isn't that the most romantic thing you've ever heard? 129 00:08:12,241 --> 00:08:15,745 Stuck on a boat with a weird French guy? 130 00:08:16,871 --> 00:08:18,372 That sounds a little gay. 131 00:08:18,456 --> 00:08:21,751 It's not gay. I'm a girl. 132 00:08:21,834 --> 00:08:23,461 Kinda gay. 133 00:08:21,834 --> 00:08:23,461 A little gay. 134 00:08:24,837 --> 00:08:27,340 All right. I gotta piss like a pregnant woman. 135 00:08:27,882 --> 00:08:29,383 (feedback) 136 00:08:29,467 --> 00:08:32,345 Hey, listen up, everybody. 137 00:08:32,428 --> 00:08:34,430 Gotta a little special thing I'd like to do tonight. 138 00:08:34,514 --> 00:08:37,350 Going to play a little song for you 139 00:08:37,433 --> 00:08:39,018 about the nastiest, 140 00:08:39,101 --> 00:08:41,896 freakiest little sex puppet I know... 141 00:08:43,439 --> 00:08:44,565 Fiona. 142 00:08:44,649 --> 00:08:46,984 (cheering) 143 00:08:50,780 --> 00:08:53,533 This one's for you, baby. Happy anniversary. 144 00:08:53,616 --> 00:08:56,911 (instrumental rock playing) 145 00:08:59,914 --> 00:09:01,290 ♪ Scotty doesn't know ♪ 146 00:09:01,374 --> 00:09:03,000 ♪ That Fiona and me ♪ 147 00:09:03,084 --> 00:09:05,044 ♪ Do it in my van every Sunday ♪ 148 00:09:05,127 --> 00:09:07,004 ♪ She tells him she's in church ♪ 149 00:09:07,088 --> 00:09:08,214 ♪ But she doesn't go ♪ 150 00:09:08,297 --> 00:09:09,757 ♪ Still she's on her knees ♪ 151 00:09:09,840 --> 00:09:11,884 ♪ And Scotty doesn't know ♪ 152 00:09:11,968 --> 00:09:15,054 ♪ Oh, Scotty doesn't know ♪ 153 00:09:15,137 --> 00:09:16,722 ♪ So don't tell Scotty ♪ 154 00:09:16,806 --> 00:09:18,057 ♪ Scotty doesn't know ♪ 155 00:09:18,140 --> 00:09:19,558 ♪ Scotty doesn't know ♪ 156 00:09:19,642 --> 00:09:22,103 Girl: I hope we're just as popular in college 157 00:09:22,186 --> 00:09:23,729 as we were in high school. 158 00:09:23,813 --> 00:09:25,898 Girl 2: We will be. 159 00:09:23,813 --> 00:09:25,898 Girl: I know. 160 00:09:26,983 --> 00:09:28,901 Girl 2: Who needs more Chablis? 161 00:09:30,194 --> 00:09:32,655 Girl: Candy, wanna come with? 162 00:09:30,194 --> 00:09:32,655 No, I'll stay here. 163 00:09:32,738 --> 00:09:34,865 Cooper: Hello, Candy! 164 00:09:34,949 --> 00:09:36,909 (glasses clinking) 165 00:09:38,744 --> 00:09:40,705 Whoops! 166 00:09:38,744 --> 00:09:40,705 (gasps) 167 00:09:40,788 --> 00:09:42,873 (laughing) Holy cow! 168 00:09:42,957 --> 00:09:44,750 Oh, this isn't where I parked my car! 169 00:09:44,834 --> 00:09:49,088 ♪ I can't believe he's so trusting ♪ 170 00:09:51,507 --> 00:09:54,385 ♪ While I'm right behind you thrusting ♪ 171 00:09:54,468 --> 00:09:57,930 ♪ 'Cause Scotty doesn't know Scotty doesn't know ♪ 172 00:09:58,014 --> 00:09:59,890 Cooper Harris, you're a pig! 173 00:09:59,974 --> 00:10:01,892 Uh... Candy, before you go... 174 00:10:01,976 --> 00:10:04,186 you might wanna clean that off. 175 00:10:05,563 --> 00:10:06,814 Clean what off? 176 00:10:06,897 --> 00:10:09,525 It's like dirt, or something. Go like this. 177 00:10:13,279 --> 00:10:15,114 Well, no... it's kinda under, 178 00:10:15,197 --> 00:10:18,159 and to the side, and under... 179 00:10:19,035 --> 00:10:20,953 Is it off? 180 00:10:19,035 --> 00:10:20,953 No. 181 00:10:21,037 --> 00:10:23,539 I think your top is getting in the way. 182 00:10:25,333 --> 00:10:27,460 Really? 183 00:10:25,333 --> 00:10:27,460 Trust me. 184 00:10:36,886 --> 00:10:39,555 That's better. But keep rubbing it. 185 00:10:44,810 --> 00:10:49,357 ♪ I did it with her on his birthday ♪ 186 00:10:49,440 --> 00:10:51,525 ♪ Scotty doesn't know Scotty doesn't know ♪ 187 00:10:51,609 --> 00:10:54,653 ♪ Scotty doesn't know Scotty doesn't know ♪ 188 00:10:54,737 --> 00:10:58,240 ♪ Don't tell Scotty Scotty doesn't know ♪ 189 00:11:00,034 --> 00:11:02,370 Cooper: Mmm-hmm... Mmm-hmm... 190 00:11:03,245 --> 00:11:05,039 No, it's just not coming off. 191 00:11:06,415 --> 00:11:07,833 What is it? 192 00:11:07,917 --> 00:11:10,002 Fine, I'll do it. Come here. 193 00:11:11,128 --> 00:11:12,505 Oh, my God! Candy! 194 00:11:12,588 --> 00:11:15,049 (gasping) Cooper! 195 00:11:16,884 --> 00:11:18,928 (nervous laugh) Hey... 196 00:11:19,011 --> 00:11:21,389 this isn't where I parked my car. 197 00:11:22,098 --> 00:11:23,891 (Cooper screams, groans) 198 00:11:23,974 --> 00:11:25,810 ♪ Scotty doesn't know ♪ 199 00:11:25,893 --> 00:11:28,145 (Yelling) 200 00:11:30,606 --> 00:11:32,983 (music continues) 201 00:11:34,568 --> 00:11:35,861 Hey. 202 00:11:35,945 --> 00:11:40,866 Crowd: Scotty doesn't know! Scotty doesn't know! 203 00:11:40,950 --> 00:11:42,243 This band rocks! 204 00:11:42,326 --> 00:11:44,662 Yeah! 205 00:11:42,326 --> 00:11:44,662 (crowd chants) 206 00:11:45,871 --> 00:11:48,582 (urinating) 207 00:12:07,309 --> 00:12:10,062 (computer beeps) Mail, motherfucker! 208 00:12:17,820 --> 00:12:18,946 Hey, Mieke. 209 00:12:19,029 --> 00:12:20,322 "Dear Scott, 210 00:12:20,406 --> 00:12:22,074 I was very sad to hear 211 00:12:22,158 --> 00:12:24,618 about your lady woman Fiona dumping you. 212 00:12:24,702 --> 00:12:26,954 Since you no longer have a girlfriend, 213 00:12:27,037 --> 00:12:28,664 maybe I could come to America 214 00:12:28,747 --> 00:12:30,833 and we could get to know each other better." 215 00:12:30,916 --> 00:12:33,210 Perhaps we could... 216 00:12:33,294 --> 00:12:35,296 zussamen." 217 00:12:35,379 --> 00:12:38,507 What the fuck is "zussamen"? 218 00:12:45,389 --> 00:12:46,682 "Arrange a meeting." 219 00:12:46,765 --> 00:12:49,560 No, no, no! Come on! Cooper was right. 220 00:12:49,643 --> 00:12:52,188 This guy wants to have sex with me. 221 00:12:53,314 --> 00:12:55,608 "Listen, Mieke... 222 00:12:55,691 --> 00:12:58,903 I don't want to arrange any meetings with you, 223 00:12:58,986 --> 00:13:01,113 you sick, German freak. 224 00:13:01,197 --> 00:13:04,867 So please keep your hands off my genitals, 225 00:13:04,950 --> 00:13:06,952 and never write to me again, 226 00:13:07,036 --> 00:13:09,163 and don't come to America. 227 00:13:09,705 --> 00:13:11,207 Goodbye." 228 00:13:11,290 --> 00:13:13,626 (computer beeping) 229 00:13:14,960 --> 00:13:16,378 (falling) 230 00:13:16,462 --> 00:13:17,630 Ow. 231 00:13:17,713 --> 00:13:20,049 (dog barking in distance) 232 00:13:30,768 --> 00:13:32,770 I'm never drinking again. 233 00:13:33,729 --> 00:13:34,939 Oh, that's nice. 234 00:13:35,022 --> 00:13:37,566 (typing) 235 00:13:38,526 --> 00:13:40,069 Bert, what are you doing? 236 00:13:40,152 --> 00:13:41,904 Reading your email. 237 00:13:41,987 --> 00:13:43,697 Don't do that. 238 00:13:45,574 --> 00:13:47,743 Why are you wearing my bathrobe? 239 00:13:48,369 --> 00:13:49,578 Oh, I'm sorry... 240 00:13:49,662 --> 00:13:52,581 but somebody pissed all over mine last night. 241 00:13:54,792 --> 00:13:56,835 Wow. I can't believe this German chick 242 00:13:56,919 --> 00:13:59,171 wants to come here and hook up with you. 243 00:13:59,255 --> 00:14:01,924 I don't think so, buddy. Mieke's a guy. 244 00:14:02,007 --> 00:14:03,175 No, it says right here, 245 00:14:03,259 --> 00:14:04,510 "Trauriges madchen." 246 00:14:04,593 --> 00:14:07,388 I was a sad girl to hear about Fiona." 247 00:14:07,471 --> 00:14:11,600 I'm taking "Intro to German," and even I know that. 248 00:14:12,142 --> 00:14:13,185 Come here. 249 00:14:13,269 --> 00:14:14,853 He sent me a picture, retardo. 250 00:14:14,937 --> 00:14:19,066 See? That's a picture of Mieke and his cute cousin, Jan. 251 00:14:19,149 --> 00:14:20,818 No, retardo. 252 00:14:20,901 --> 00:14:23,195 That's Jan, a man's name, 253 00:14:23,279 --> 00:14:24,613 and that's not "Mike," 254 00:14:24,697 --> 00:14:27,866 It's "Mieke," a common German girl's name, 255 00:14:27,950 --> 00:14:29,410 similar to our Michelle. 256 00:14:29,493 --> 00:14:32,621 I hope you wrote her back and told her to come visit. 257 00:14:35,874 --> 00:14:37,001 You didn't? 258 00:14:37,084 --> 00:14:39,169 You thought she was a guy! 259 00:14:39,253 --> 00:14:42,214 I'm getting the video camera! Ha! 260 00:14:42,298 --> 00:14:45,217 (Bert laughing) What an asshole! 261 00:14:45,759 --> 00:14:46,885 Scott: No. 262 00:14:46,969 --> 00:14:48,887 No. 263 00:14:48,971 --> 00:14:51,223 (screaming) No! 264 00:14:51,307 --> 00:14:54,810 (screaming continues) 265 00:15:07,990 --> 00:15:09,825 (speaks in German) 266 00:15:21,337 --> 00:15:24,340 Scott: "Address blocked"? "Email not delivered." 267 00:15:24,423 --> 00:15:26,342 No... come on! 268 00:15:27,926 --> 00:15:29,678 Hey, mom made waffles. 269 00:15:29,762 --> 00:15:32,556 What's going on? 270 00:15:29,762 --> 00:15:32,556 I'm in love with my pen pal. 271 00:15:33,974 --> 00:15:35,684 I'm in love with Mieke. 272 00:15:38,103 --> 00:15:40,731 OK... OK. 273 00:15:41,982 --> 00:15:45,069 You know what? I was actually expecting this. 274 00:15:45,152 --> 00:15:46,612 Frankly, no listen, 275 00:15:46,695 --> 00:15:48,697 I'm flattered you picked me to come out to first. 276 00:15:48,781 --> 00:15:51,909 And don't worry about telling your folks, 'cause... 277 00:15:51,992 --> 00:15:53,410 I think they already know. 278 00:15:53,494 --> 00:15:55,037 No, you idiot. Mike is a girl. 279 00:15:55,120 --> 00:15:56,580 No, no, I get it. Yeah. 280 00:15:56,664 --> 00:15:58,290 He's the girl, and you're the girl, 281 00:15:58,374 --> 00:16:00,876 and sometimes you're both the girl. 282 00:16:02,252 --> 00:16:03,295 Right? 283 00:16:03,379 --> 00:16:05,422 Right? That's hot. 284 00:16:05,506 --> 00:16:08,592 But whatever works for you. I'm not gonna judge it. 285 00:16:08,676 --> 00:16:11,804 Will you stop? Look, come here. Look at this picture. 286 00:16:13,639 --> 00:16:15,140 Wow. Who's the hot chick? 287 00:16:15,224 --> 00:16:17,976 That's "Mike." I mean, Mieke. 288 00:16:18,060 --> 00:16:21,271 That's Mieke? That's who you've been writing to all this time? 289 00:16:21,355 --> 00:16:23,649 Until last night, when I took your advice 290 00:16:23,732 --> 00:16:25,984 and told her to keep her "hands off my genitals." 291 00:16:26,068 --> 00:16:30,322 Given what we know now, that seems like the exact opposite of what you want. 292 00:16:32,032 --> 00:16:33,117 (sighing) 293 00:16:33,200 --> 00:16:34,993 This is a total disaster. 294 00:16:35,077 --> 00:16:37,454 Oh, come on. It's not that bad. 295 00:16:38,247 --> 00:16:39,707 Though she is really hot. 296 00:16:39,790 --> 00:16:42,501 You're not listening. I don't even care what she looks like. 297 00:16:42,584 --> 00:16:46,004 Mieke and I had this incredible bond. 298 00:16:46,088 --> 00:16:48,674 I told her things I couldn't even tell you. 299 00:16:50,092 --> 00:16:51,343 Like what? 300 00:16:51,427 --> 00:16:53,303 Nothing. It's a figure of speech, Coop. 301 00:16:53,387 --> 00:16:55,305 No, seriously. What? 302 00:16:53,387 --> 00:16:55,305 Nothing. The point... 303 00:16:55,389 --> 00:16:57,224 You like me better, right? 304 00:16:55,389 --> 00:16:57,224 Will you stop? Listen... 305 00:16:57,307 --> 00:17:01,437 This girl is not only smart and funny, and stunningly beautiful, 306 00:17:01,520 --> 00:17:03,689 but until I screwed up, she wanted to come 307 00:17:03,772 --> 00:17:06,358 all the way to America, just to be with me. 308 00:17:06,442 --> 00:17:08,694 So do something about it. 309 00:17:06,442 --> 00:17:08,694 What can I do? 310 00:17:09,778 --> 00:17:11,155 She blocked her email account, 311 00:17:11,238 --> 00:17:12,531 her phone number's not listed. 312 00:17:12,614 --> 00:17:15,033 The only thing I know is she lives in Berlin. 313 00:17:15,117 --> 00:17:16,952 So go to Berlin. 314 00:17:18,328 --> 00:17:20,247 I can't just go to Berlin, Coop. 315 00:17:20,330 --> 00:17:22,875 Why not? 316 00:17:20,330 --> 00:17:22,875 Because... 317 00:17:22,958 --> 00:17:24,126 I just can't, OK? 318 00:17:24,209 --> 00:17:26,086 I'm supposed to work for my dad this summer. 319 00:17:26,170 --> 00:17:28,547 It looks good on my med school application. 320 00:17:28,630 --> 00:17:30,382 Oh, Jesus, Scotty! 321 00:17:30,466 --> 00:17:33,635 Man, Fiona was right. You're so predictable. 322 00:17:43,604 --> 00:17:45,939 I'm going to Germany. 323 00:17:43,604 --> 00:17:45,939 No... 324 00:17:46,023 --> 00:17:47,858 we're going to Germany. 325 00:17:55,824 --> 00:17:57,743 Scott: How are we going to get to Germany? 326 00:17:57,826 --> 00:18:00,078 Don't worry. I've got it covered. 327 00:18:02,331 --> 00:18:04,208 Scott: We're going to be couriers? 328 00:18:04,291 --> 00:18:05,918 It's the best way to get a cheap flight. 329 00:18:06,001 --> 00:18:07,836 All we have to do is carry their packages, 330 00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:09,546 and then drop them off when we get there. 331 00:18:09,630 --> 00:18:11,256 My cousin did it when he went to India. 332 00:18:11,340 --> 00:18:12,925 Yeah? 333 00:18:11,340 --> 00:18:12,925 Yeah. 334 00:18:13,008 --> 00:18:15,761 Of course, he ended up using a public restroom in New Delhi 335 00:18:15,844 --> 00:18:19,765 and they had to cut off his leg. You know... 336 00:18:19,848 --> 00:18:22,810 but he got there cheap, is what I'm saying. 337 00:18:22,893 --> 00:18:26,105 OK, I don't have anything to Germany for a week. 338 00:18:26,188 --> 00:18:29,942 But I can get you both to London today for $118. 339 00:18:30,025 --> 00:18:32,694 Anything else? 340 00:18:30,025 --> 00:18:32,694 Europe is like the size of the Eastwood Mall. 341 00:18:32,778 --> 00:18:35,364 We can walk to Berlin from there. 342 00:18:36,323 --> 00:18:37,574 Cooper, England's an island. 343 00:18:37,658 --> 00:18:40,369 OK, swim. Whatever. 344 00:18:40,452 --> 00:18:42,120 We'll take it. 345 00:18:56,885 --> 00:18:58,220 Hey. 346 00:18:56,885 --> 00:18:58,220 Hmm? 347 00:18:58,303 --> 00:18:59,930 Thanks for coming with me. 348 00:19:00,013 --> 00:19:02,307 I know you had that internship at the law firm this summer. 349 00:19:02,391 --> 00:19:04,476 Well, forget about the law firm. 350 00:19:04,560 --> 00:19:08,647 And don't thank me. I should be thanking you. 351 00:19:08,730 --> 00:19:11,358 This trip is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for me 352 00:19:11,441 --> 00:19:13,402 to broaden my sexual horizons. 353 00:19:13,485 --> 00:19:15,863 (laughing) What are you talking about? 354 00:19:15,946 --> 00:19:18,323 I'm talking about crazy European sex. 355 00:19:18,407 --> 00:19:20,742 (scoffs) Ah. 356 00:19:20,826 --> 00:19:24,037 You know America was founded by prudes. 357 00:19:24,121 --> 00:19:26,582 Prudes who left Europe, because they hated 358 00:19:26,665 --> 00:19:29,918 all the kinky, steamy European sex that was going on. 359 00:19:31,378 --> 00:19:34,089 And now I, Cooper Harris, 360 00:19:34,173 --> 00:19:37,676 will return to the land of my perverted forefathers 361 00:19:37,759 --> 00:19:39,469 and claim my birthright, 362 00:19:39,553 --> 00:19:41,680 which is a series 363 00:19:41,763 --> 00:19:44,975 of erotic and sexually challenging adventures. 364 00:19:46,435 --> 00:19:49,062 You've really thought a lot about this, haven't you? 365 00:19:50,397 --> 00:19:51,607 It's my passion. 366 00:19:51,690 --> 00:19:54,109 (up-tempo rock music playing) 367 00:20:06,288 --> 00:20:09,041 Scott: Come on, come on! 368 00:20:10,250 --> 00:20:12,502 The adventure begins. 369 00:20:12,586 --> 00:20:14,880 Welcome to jolly old England. 370 00:20:14,963 --> 00:20:18,300 Yeah, breathe that sweet, sexy, European air. 371 00:20:18,759 --> 00:20:20,344 (cell phone rings) 372 00:20:20,427 --> 00:20:21,929 Oh. 373 00:20:20,427 --> 00:20:21,929 What is that? 374 00:20:22,012 --> 00:20:24,348 It's the phone they gave me at the law firm. 375 00:20:24,431 --> 00:20:26,224 Yeah, it's pretty neat, huh? 376 00:20:26,308 --> 00:20:28,060 Works anywhere. 377 00:20:26,308 --> 00:20:28,060 Yeah? 378 00:20:28,143 --> 00:20:29,519 Excuse me. 379 00:20:30,687 --> 00:20:32,606 Cooper here. 380 00:20:32,689 --> 00:20:33,982 Hello, Mr. Walters. 381 00:20:34,066 --> 00:20:37,444 Yes, sir, I'm down in file storage. 382 00:20:37,527 --> 00:20:39,655 Um, hang on one second. 383 00:20:44,910 --> 00:20:47,955 No, sir, I can't find the Gutterman file anywhere. 384 00:20:48,038 --> 00:20:49,748 Yes, sir, I'll keep looking. 385 00:20:49,831 --> 00:20:52,876 I don't rest until I find it. 386 00:20:52,960 --> 00:20:54,795 Didn't tell your boss you were leaving the country? 387 00:20:54,878 --> 00:20:57,923 They would've stopped paying me. It seemed easier. 388 00:20:58,924 --> 00:21:01,051 So, where to? 389 00:20:58,924 --> 00:21:01,051 I don't know. 390 00:21:01,134 --> 00:21:02,803 First bus to Berlin doesn't leave till tomorrow morning. 391 00:21:02,886 --> 00:21:05,305 What do you wanna do? Got the tower of London... 392 00:21:05,389 --> 00:21:07,474 there's Buckingham palace. 393 00:21:07,557 --> 00:21:09,810 Uh... 394 00:21:07,557 --> 00:21:09,810 There's no drinking age. 395 00:21:09,893 --> 00:21:11,979 There you go! 396 00:21:09,893 --> 00:21:11,979 Come on. 397 00:21:13,563 --> 00:21:16,775 Hey! "The feisty goat." 398 00:21:13,563 --> 00:21:16,775 (laughing) 399 00:21:18,360 --> 00:21:20,320 (loud chattering) 400 00:21:20,404 --> 00:21:22,280 All right! 401 00:21:22,364 --> 00:21:24,241 What do you wanna... 402 00:21:34,668 --> 00:21:36,628 Soccer hooligans. 403 00:21:38,714 --> 00:21:40,716 (sizzling) 404 00:21:40,799 --> 00:21:43,343 Hey, this isn't where I parked my car! 405 00:21:44,386 --> 00:21:45,846 Oy! 406 00:21:46,680 --> 00:21:48,765 Who the bloody hell are you? 407 00:21:50,392 --> 00:21:52,769 This is a private members bar, 408 00:21:52,853 --> 00:21:54,479 exclusively for the supporters 409 00:21:54,563 --> 00:21:56,898 of the greatest football team in the world... 410 00:21:57,733 --> 00:21:59,609 Manchester United. 411 00:22:00,402 --> 00:22:02,738 Now please, enlighten me. 412 00:22:03,488 --> 00:22:04,781 Who the fuck are you?! 413 00:22:04,865 --> 00:22:06,450 That is a good question, 414 00:22:06,533 --> 00:22:08,618 and... Scotty? 415 00:22:09,202 --> 00:22:10,871 Huh? 416 00:22:13,248 --> 00:22:16,168 We're the Manchester United Fan Club... 417 00:22:17,336 --> 00:22:18,670 from Ohio. 418 00:22:18,754 --> 00:22:21,506 If you're Manchester United supporters... 419 00:22:21,590 --> 00:22:24,718 sing the Manchester United song. 420 00:22:24,801 --> 00:22:26,011 Excuse me, I'm sorry... 421 00:22:26,094 --> 00:22:27,512 Scott: I'm not much of a singer... 422 00:22:27,596 --> 00:22:30,807 Sing! 423 00:22:27,596 --> 00:22:30,807 ♪ My baby takes ♪ 424 00:22:30,891 --> 00:22:32,934 ♪ The morning train ♪ 425 00:22:33,018 --> 00:22:36,438 ♪ He works from 9 to 5 ♪ 426 00:22:36,521 --> 00:22:37,898 ♪ And then ♪ 427 00:22:37,981 --> 00:22:40,609 ♪ He takes another ♪ 428 00:22:40,692 --> 00:22:42,027 ♪ Home again ♪ 429 00:22:42,110 --> 00:22:46,031 ♪ To find me... ♪ 430 00:22:46,114 --> 00:22:50,118 Watching the Manchester United football team! 431 00:22:50,202 --> 00:22:51,328 Eh? 432 00:22:51,411 --> 00:22:54,956 The best freakin' team in all the land! Whoo-hoo! 433 00:23:02,714 --> 00:23:03,965 Pretty good. 434 00:23:04,049 --> 00:23:06,343 Pretty dang good, lads! 435 00:23:04,049 --> 00:23:06,343 Yeah! 436 00:23:06,426 --> 00:23:09,262 (men cheering) 437 00:23:09,346 --> 00:23:11,056 (yelling) 438 00:23:11,139 --> 00:23:12,307 (clinking) 439 00:23:13,433 --> 00:23:17,896 ♪ My baby takes the morning train ♪ 440 00:23:17,979 --> 00:23:21,233 ♪ He works from 9 to 5 ♪ 441 00:23:21,316 --> 00:23:22,567 ♪ And then ♪ 442 00:23:22,651 --> 00:23:25,821 ♪ He takes another home again ♪ 443 00:23:25,904 --> 00:23:29,616 Men: ♪ To find me waiting for him ♪ 444 00:23:29,699 --> 00:23:33,995 Woman: ♪ He's always on that morning train... ♪ 445 00:23:37,165 --> 00:23:39,459 Man: I've unblocked your email address, 446 00:23:39,543 --> 00:23:42,754 but this Scott is not responding. 447 00:23:44,506 --> 00:23:46,466 He was the one. 448 00:23:48,343 --> 00:23:51,012 I was going to give myself to him. 449 00:23:52,139 --> 00:23:54,933 Perhaps you should give yourself to someone else... 450 00:23:58,353 --> 00:24:00,313 fraulein. 451 00:24:08,321 --> 00:24:10,073 (giggling) 452 00:24:21,376 --> 00:24:23,795 I'm never drinking again. 453 00:24:23,879 --> 00:24:25,172 Coop, wake up. 454 00:24:25,255 --> 00:24:28,008 Oh, man, that was a wild night. 455 00:24:30,886 --> 00:24:32,596 You think? 456 00:24:32,679 --> 00:24:35,056 (rock music playing) 457 00:24:39,728 --> 00:24:42,063 Scotty, where the hell are we going? 458 00:24:42,147 --> 00:24:44,274 Scott: Don't worry. If anything bad happens, 459 00:24:44,357 --> 00:24:46,443 my parents will find us. 460 00:24:46,526 --> 00:24:49,070 Honey, where's Scotty? 461 00:24:49,154 --> 00:24:51,198 Cooper said they were going camping. 462 00:24:51,281 --> 00:24:53,241 Oh, that's nice. 463 00:24:54,492 --> 00:24:56,286 And where's Bert? 464 00:24:56,369 --> 00:24:58,038 Fuck if I know. 465 00:24:58,705 --> 00:25:01,082 (music continues) 466 00:25:02,542 --> 00:25:04,920 (talking, bottles clinking) 467 00:25:08,381 --> 00:25:12,135 (screaming) Hey! How are you, you scalawag! 468 00:25:12,219 --> 00:25:14,638 Look, given the current geopolitical climate, 469 00:25:14,721 --> 00:25:17,933 all European countries should have a seat at the table. 470 00:25:18,016 --> 00:25:20,352 Right. 471 00:25:18,016 --> 00:25:20,352 Except those fucking ities. 472 00:25:20,435 --> 00:25:22,979 I hate them Italian bastards. 473 00:25:23,063 --> 00:25:24,731 You know what I mean? 474 00:25:23,063 --> 00:25:24,731 Excuse me. 475 00:25:24,814 --> 00:25:25,899 Hello, boyo! 476 00:25:25,982 --> 00:25:28,151 What the hell happened last night? 477 00:25:28,235 --> 00:25:30,904 You got steamed up, pissed as a fart. 478 00:25:30,987 --> 00:25:32,530 Too much sauce, son. 479 00:25:32,614 --> 00:25:34,074 Don't worry. 480 00:25:34,157 --> 00:25:36,534 We come and got ya so you wouldn't miss the trip. 481 00:25:37,244 --> 00:25:39,037 What trip? 482 00:25:39,120 --> 00:25:40,372 Where are we going? 483 00:25:40,455 --> 00:25:42,374 What do you mean, where are we going? 484 00:25:42,457 --> 00:25:44,960 We're going to see the Mighty Reds do the frogs in Paris. 485 00:25:45,043 --> 00:25:46,378 Aren't we, boys? 486 00:25:46,461 --> 00:25:48,713 (men cheer) Yeah! 487 00:25:48,797 --> 00:25:50,090 Why are you yelling at me? 488 00:25:50,173 --> 00:25:52,550 So I tell the swamp donkey to sock it 489 00:25:52,634 --> 00:25:55,303 before I give her a trunky in the tradesman's entrance 490 00:25:55,387 --> 00:25:57,973 and have her lick me yardballs! 491 00:26:00,558 --> 00:26:02,310 Wow. 492 00:26:02,394 --> 00:26:05,230 You guys are on like a completely different level of swearing over here. 493 00:26:05,313 --> 00:26:07,941 Coop? Cooper, we're going to Paris. 494 00:26:08,650 --> 00:26:09,985 I know. Cecil told me. 495 00:26:10,068 --> 00:26:12,904 Mieke's in Berlin. We're not going to Berlin. 496 00:26:12,988 --> 00:26:14,656 What are we gonna do? We need a plan. 497 00:26:14,739 --> 00:26:18,451 See what I'm talking about? This is predictable Scotty talking. 498 00:26:18,535 --> 00:26:21,579 Relax. Paris is practically a suburb of Berlin. 499 00:26:21,663 --> 00:26:23,415 It's a nothing commute. 500 00:26:23,498 --> 00:26:25,542 This is why France and Germany have always been allies. 501 00:26:25,625 --> 00:26:27,002 Allies. 502 00:26:29,546 --> 00:26:31,756 The twins. The twins were in Paris, right? 503 00:26:31,840 --> 00:26:34,843 We could give them a call. They could help us out. Let me see your phone. 504 00:26:34,926 --> 00:26:38,388 All right, but I'm really only supposed to use this for business calls. 505 00:26:39,180 --> 00:26:40,890 Cooper: Hey, don't... 506 00:26:42,809 --> 00:26:44,060 (belching) 507 00:26:44,144 --> 00:26:46,521 (rock music playing) 508 00:26:54,696 --> 00:26:58,116 (horn beeping, cheering) 509 00:26:58,199 --> 00:26:59,909 You're on the wrong side of the road, 510 00:26:59,993 --> 00:27:01,453 you snail-eating puffs. 511 00:27:01,536 --> 00:27:05,290 Fuck off! Go on, you Gaelic fucking garlic-breath tossers! 512 00:27:06,249 --> 00:27:08,501 Piss off! Get in here and say that, 513 00:27:08,585 --> 00:27:10,253 you froggy itie shities! 514 00:27:13,173 --> 00:27:15,342 (horn beeping) 515 00:27:13,173 --> 00:27:15,342 Mad Maynard: Fucking beep! 516 00:27:15,425 --> 00:27:18,178 We'll beep, you bastard, all over your fucking nose! 517 00:27:18,261 --> 00:27:20,680 Get out of the way! Piss off! 518 00:27:28,855 --> 00:27:30,357 Hey, lads! 519 00:27:30,440 --> 00:27:32,776 Maynard: That wanker's got a frog football shirt on! 520 00:27:32,859 --> 00:27:35,320 Let's give this nancy a fucking good kicking! 521 00:27:35,403 --> 00:27:38,406 Come on, lads, he's going off! 522 00:27:38,490 --> 00:27:41,117 (screaming) 523 00:27:52,962 --> 00:27:55,382 All right. Twins said they'd meet us here. 524 00:27:55,799 --> 00:27:57,008 Look at that! 525 00:27:57,092 --> 00:27:58,551 There they are. Come on. Jenny! 526 00:27:58,635 --> 00:28:00,678 Jamie! 527 00:27:58,635 --> 00:28:00,678 Hey! 528 00:28:00,762 --> 00:28:01,846 Come here! 529 00:28:01,930 --> 00:28:03,264 No, no. No, no, no! 530 00:28:03,348 --> 00:28:05,350 Scott, bienvenu a Paris. 531 00:28:03,348 --> 00:28:05,350 Thank you. 532 00:28:05,433 --> 00:28:08,645 Is that a new camera? 533 00:28:05,433 --> 00:28:08,645 It isn't just a camera, 534 00:28:08,728 --> 00:28:10,438 this is a Leica M7. 535 00:28:10,522 --> 00:28:12,732 Uber-sensitive exposure settings, 536 00:28:12,816 --> 00:28:14,359 legendary cloth shutter system. 537 00:28:14,442 --> 00:28:16,694 Let me see that thing. 538 00:28:14,442 --> 00:28:16,694 No can do. 539 00:28:16,778 --> 00:28:20,198 I spent the last four years tutoring lacrosse players to pay for it, 540 00:28:20,281 --> 00:28:23,243 so nobody touches my camera but me. 541 00:28:23,326 --> 00:28:25,829 So it's like your wiener. 542 00:28:23,326 --> 00:28:25,829 No, it's not like... 543 00:28:25,912 --> 00:28:27,705 Jenny... 544 00:28:25,912 --> 00:28:27,705 Cooper, leave him alone. 545 00:28:27,789 --> 00:28:31,709 Wow, I can't believe you came all the way to Europe for a girl. 546 00:28:31,793 --> 00:28:33,128 Wait, not just any girl. 547 00:28:33,211 --> 00:28:34,712 Show her the picture, Scotty. 548 00:28:34,796 --> 00:28:37,549 She makes every girl in our high school look like a walrus. 549 00:28:37,632 --> 00:28:40,009 I'm a girl from your high school. 550 00:28:40,093 --> 00:28:41,594 No, I mean "girl" girls. 551 00:28:41,678 --> 00:28:44,681 Guys, we're wasting the whole day here. We're in Paris! 552 00:28:44,764 --> 00:28:45,890 Let's go to the Louvre! 553 00:28:45,974 --> 00:28:48,059 All: To the Louvre! 554 00:29:22,051 --> 00:29:23,595 So, you guys wanna stay here, 555 00:29:23,678 --> 00:29:27,515 or should we check out the huge line at the Eiffel tower? 556 00:29:27,599 --> 00:29:28,808 Here's a fun fact. 557 00:29:28,892 --> 00:29:30,768 Voltaire contracted syphilis just two blocks from here. 558 00:29:30,852 --> 00:29:33,271 Should we go? 559 00:29:30,852 --> 00:29:33,271 Can we please get out of here? 560 00:29:33,354 --> 00:29:35,064 This guy's really creeping me out. 561 00:29:35,148 --> 00:29:36,608 Who, robot man? 562 00:29:36,691 --> 00:29:39,277 He's just trying to feed his robot family. 563 00:29:39,360 --> 00:29:41,654 I really don't like him. 564 00:29:39,360 --> 00:29:41,654 Why? 565 00:29:41,738 --> 00:29:44,949 Because he's doing this? (making robot noises) 566 00:29:45,033 --> 00:29:46,993 OK, seriously, don't do that. 567 00:29:47,076 --> 00:29:49,787 (robot voice) Cooper. Do not hate me. 568 00:29:52,165 --> 00:29:54,584 I am familiar with over 600 dance moves 569 00:29:54,667 --> 00:29:56,503 and I am programmed to get... 570 00:29:56,586 --> 00:29:59,672 (imitating robot) 571 00:30:00,882 --> 00:30:02,717 Freaky. 572 00:30:05,220 --> 00:30:06,137 (surprised noise) 573 00:30:06,221 --> 00:30:09,557 (both making noises) 574 00:30:10,225 --> 00:30:12,352 (speaks in French) 575 00:30:14,562 --> 00:30:17,023 You're just upset because people like me better. 576 00:30:17,106 --> 00:30:18,441 It's okay. 577 00:30:18,525 --> 00:30:20,068 (buzzing) 578 00:30:22,237 --> 00:30:24,489 (both buzzing) 579 00:30:43,758 --> 00:30:45,260 (gasping) Oh! 580 00:30:48,846 --> 00:30:51,474 ("Two Tribes" playing) 581 00:30:58,356 --> 00:30:59,732 Fight! Fight! 582 00:31:04,362 --> 00:31:06,281 Break the leg, Scott! 583 00:31:13,913 --> 00:31:15,331 (gagging) 584 00:31:16,249 --> 00:31:18,459 Ha! Ha! Ha! 585 00:31:22,630 --> 00:31:25,174 Don't look in his eyes, Scotty. Don't look in his eyes! 586 00:31:29,971 --> 00:31:32,724 Ohhh! 587 00:31:29,971 --> 00:31:32,724 That was not cool. 588 00:31:32,807 --> 00:31:36,394 (laughing) 589 00:31:39,981 --> 00:31:41,065 (growling) 590 00:31:41,149 --> 00:31:43,776 (cracking) 591 00:31:48,656 --> 00:31:50,950 (warrior screams) 592 00:31:58,041 --> 00:32:00,585 (groaning) 593 00:31:58,041 --> 00:32:00,585 (wincing) Oh! 594 00:32:04,505 --> 00:32:05,840 Scott: Guys, let's go. Come on. 595 00:32:05,923 --> 00:32:07,383 (moaning) 596 00:32:10,011 --> 00:32:12,805 Error! Error! Error! 597 00:32:14,349 --> 00:32:15,808 Scott: How cool is this? 598 00:32:15,892 --> 00:32:18,645 It's a shame we only get to spend one day together. 599 00:32:18,728 --> 00:32:21,064 Why don't you come to Berlin? 600 00:32:18,728 --> 00:32:21,064 Umm, no. 601 00:32:21,147 --> 00:32:24,233 Jamie, come on. In a few months, we all go to different colleges. 602 00:32:24,317 --> 00:32:27,528 This could be the last chance the four of us are together like this. 603 00:32:28,488 --> 00:32:31,032 Plus, we're in Europe. Huh? 604 00:32:31,115 --> 00:32:33,159 This should be the trip of a lifetime. 605 00:32:33,242 --> 00:32:34,911 There's no way we should split up. 606 00:32:36,037 --> 00:32:38,956 All right, this table is now Europe, OK? 607 00:32:40,291 --> 00:32:41,417 Excuse me. 608 00:32:41,501 --> 00:32:44,170 We are right here, in Paris, 609 00:32:44,253 --> 00:32:46,756 and I have got to get to Mieke, 610 00:32:46,839 --> 00:32:49,425 who is over here, in Berlin. 611 00:32:49,509 --> 00:32:51,594 If you come with us, I'm sure there's a ton 612 00:32:51,678 --> 00:32:53,805 of great stuff to see along the way. 613 00:32:53,888 --> 00:32:57,642 We can go to Denmark. 614 00:32:53,888 --> 00:32:57,642 I love Denmark. 615 00:32:57,725 --> 00:33:00,311 We gotta hit Amsterdam. 616 00:32:57,725 --> 00:33:00,311 Definitely. 617 00:33:00,395 --> 00:33:02,814 And the cathedral at Cameret! 618 00:33:04,607 --> 00:33:06,484 Yeah... 619 00:33:04,607 --> 00:33:06,484 Maybe. We'll see. 620 00:33:06,567 --> 00:33:08,528 Cooper: Whatever. 621 00:33:06,567 --> 00:33:08,528 If there's time. 622 00:33:10,196 --> 00:33:12,824 Come on! I really want you to be there when I meet Mieke. 623 00:33:13,783 --> 00:33:15,034 Fine. 624 00:33:15,118 --> 00:33:16,911 Excellent! 625 00:33:15,118 --> 00:33:16,911 All right! 626 00:33:16,994 --> 00:33:19,330 A toast! 627 00:33:16,994 --> 00:33:19,330 Yes! 628 00:33:20,081 --> 00:33:21,916 To Mieke! 629 00:33:20,081 --> 00:33:21,916 To Europe! 630 00:33:22,625 --> 00:33:23,918 All: To Europe! 631 00:33:24,001 --> 00:33:25,461 Merci. 632 00:33:26,546 --> 00:33:29,173 Berlin, here we come! 633 00:33:26,546 --> 00:33:29,173 All right. 634 00:33:29,257 --> 00:33:31,551 Better let me hold on to those. 635 00:33:35,263 --> 00:33:37,306 What the hell is that? 636 00:33:37,390 --> 00:33:38,683 It's a traveler's money belt. 637 00:33:38,766 --> 00:33:41,185 Frommer's says as long as you have one of these, 638 00:33:41,269 --> 00:33:43,146 no one can rob you of anything. 639 00:33:43,229 --> 00:33:44,397 Except your dignity. 640 00:33:44,480 --> 00:33:46,774 No, you just put that in your... 641 00:33:47,400 --> 00:33:48,484 wait... what? 642 00:33:48,568 --> 00:33:51,362 Come on, guidebook. Let's go. 643 00:33:53,573 --> 00:33:55,366 Cooper: Check it out. 644 00:33:55,950 --> 00:33:57,535 European ass. 645 00:33:59,787 --> 00:34:01,414 What's up? 646 00:34:03,916 --> 00:34:07,503 Jesus, Jenny. I thought you were some... 647 00:34:07,587 --> 00:34:10,131 ...girl. Come on. Platform 4. 648 00:34:10,465 --> 00:34:12,467 Thanks. 649 00:34:14,218 --> 00:34:15,845 Damn! 650 00:34:18,723 --> 00:34:20,933 (French accent) I believe this is yours. 651 00:34:24,353 --> 00:34:26,355 Pleased to meet you. 652 00:34:26,439 --> 00:34:27,899 My name is Christoph. 653 00:34:27,982 --> 00:34:30,193 Scott: Jenny, let's go! 654 00:34:27,982 --> 00:34:30,193 Cooper: Move it! 655 00:34:30,276 --> 00:34:34,071 Those are my friends. We're supposed to get on a train to Berlin... 656 00:34:34,155 --> 00:34:36,324 Jenny! 657 00:34:34,155 --> 00:34:36,324 I'm coming!! 658 00:34:37,408 --> 00:34:39,702 So, it was really nice to meet you. 659 00:34:40,495 --> 00:34:42,371 The pleasure was all mine... 660 00:34:43,706 --> 00:34:45,458 Jennifer. 661 00:34:56,511 --> 00:34:59,013 ("Ca Plane Pour Moi" playing) 662 00:35:08,356 --> 00:35:11,150 (music continues) 663 00:35:28,876 --> 00:35:31,295 ♪ Scotty doesn't know That Fiona and me ♪ 664 00:35:31,379 --> 00:35:34,465 Cooper: ♪ Do it In my van on Sundays ♪ 665 00:35:34,549 --> 00:35:35,967 ♪ Tells him she's-- ♪ 666 00:35:36,050 --> 00:35:37,426 What? 667 00:35:37,510 --> 00:35:40,763 You gotta admit, it's a really catchy tune. 668 00:35:42,849 --> 00:35:45,643 ♪ Tells him she's in church but she doesn't go ♪ 669 00:35:45,726 --> 00:35:49,605 All: ♪ Still she's on her knees and Scotty doesn't know ♪ 670 00:35:49,689 --> 00:35:51,107 ♪ Scotty doesn't know ♪ 671 00:35:51,190 --> 00:35:53,734 All: ♪ Scotty doesn't-- ♪ 672 00:35:51,190 --> 00:35:53,734 Buongiorno. 673 00:35:58,114 --> 00:35:59,615 Buongiorno. 674 00:36:07,081 --> 00:36:10,418 You know, there are a lot of other empty compartments. 675 00:36:10,877 --> 00:36:12,170 Huh? 676 00:36:12,253 --> 00:36:14,463 Ah! Si... 677 00:36:14,547 --> 00:36:16,007 Man: Si. 678 00:36:49,373 --> 00:36:50,458 Pardon me. 679 00:36:50,541 --> 00:36:52,668 Eh? 680 00:36:53,294 --> 00:36:54,545 Ohhh... 681 00:36:54,629 --> 00:36:57,298 Scusi. 682 00:36:57,381 --> 00:36:59,008 Mi scusi. 683 00:37:04,513 --> 00:37:06,515 (screaming) 684 00:37:23,532 --> 00:37:24,992 Hi. 685 00:37:25,451 --> 00:37:27,161 Buongiorno. 686 00:37:38,130 --> 00:37:41,634 What the hell are you doing? 687 00:37:38,130 --> 00:37:41,634 Mi scusi, mi scusi. 688 00:37:42,760 --> 00:37:45,513 No! No, no, no! 689 00:37:42,760 --> 00:37:45,513 Mi scusi, mi scusi. 690 00:37:46,430 --> 00:37:47,598 Uh-oh. 691 00:37:46,430 --> 00:37:47,598 What? 692 00:37:47,682 --> 00:37:49,058 Big tunnel. 693 00:37:51,894 --> 00:37:54,772 Jamie: Who's touching me? Scotty, is that you? 694 00:37:55,773 --> 00:37:57,900 Who's touching me?! Scotty! 695 00:38:03,406 --> 00:38:05,282 (screaming) Oh! 696 00:38:07,451 --> 00:38:09,036 Scusi. 697 00:38:23,926 --> 00:38:26,929 Scott: Crans Sur Mer. We change trains here. 698 00:38:28,806 --> 00:38:31,475 Well, we got a couple of hours to kill. 699 00:38:31,559 --> 00:38:32,852 What's there to see in this town? 700 00:38:32,935 --> 00:38:36,147 Hello? The Monument des Poissonieres. 701 00:38:36,230 --> 00:38:39,233 It's a monument to all the local fishermen who were lost at sea. 702 00:38:39,317 --> 00:38:42,611 Frommer's says it's supposed to be... "Quite moving." 703 00:38:42,695 --> 00:38:45,364 What the hell is wrong with you, C-3PO? 704 00:38:45,448 --> 00:38:49,201 We're here to see Europe, not some crappy statue. 705 00:38:49,285 --> 00:38:50,911 I'm taking a nap. 706 00:38:50,995 --> 00:38:52,747 Wake me up when the train gets here. 707 00:38:52,830 --> 00:38:55,916 Hmm. Says here this town has a famous nude beach. 708 00:38:56,000 --> 00:38:58,335 All right, we can't all just lie around all day. 709 00:38:58,419 --> 00:39:01,547 We gotta get out there and experience the culture firsthand. 710 00:39:01,630 --> 00:39:03,257 Let's go exploring! 711 00:39:06,677 --> 00:39:08,804 So, what's the etiquette on boners? 712 00:39:08,888 --> 00:39:10,765 Do I roll over and dig out a hole for it, 713 00:39:10,848 --> 00:39:13,768 or is it cool to just let my flag fly? 714 00:39:14,477 --> 00:39:16,687 Wait, wait. 715 00:39:16,771 --> 00:39:19,315 Does "nude beach" mean we have to get naked, too? 716 00:39:19,857 --> 00:39:20,775 Of course. 717 00:39:20,858 --> 00:39:22,610 Do you think you can go an hour 718 00:39:22,693 --> 00:39:24,361 without your currency colostomy bag? 719 00:39:24,445 --> 00:39:27,948 As long as this thing has our money and passports in it, 720 00:39:28,032 --> 00:39:31,952 it's not coming off, and my trunks won't come off, either. 721 00:39:32,036 --> 00:39:32,995 Come on. 722 00:39:33,079 --> 00:39:35,456 You came all the way to Europe. 723 00:39:35,539 --> 00:39:37,124 Can't wimp out now. 724 00:39:39,210 --> 00:39:40,211 OK. 725 00:39:40,294 --> 00:39:42,213 All right, on the count of three. 726 00:39:42,296 --> 00:39:43,464 Here we go. 727 00:39:43,547 --> 00:39:44,882 3, 2, 1... 728 00:39:44,965 --> 00:39:48,010 (Cooper laughing) Look at Jamie's penis! 729 00:39:48,094 --> 00:39:50,012 Very funny. Very funny. 730 00:39:50,096 --> 00:39:51,764 All right. 731 00:39:52,848 --> 00:39:55,518 Let the crazy European sex odyssey begin. 732 00:39:55,601 --> 00:39:56,727 Here we go. 733 00:39:55,601 --> 00:39:56,727 Really? 734 00:39:56,811 --> 00:39:58,646 Yes. 735 00:39:56,811 --> 00:39:58,646 Mm-hmm. 736 00:40:01,315 --> 00:40:05,027 (cheering) 737 00:40:01,315 --> 00:40:05,027 Cooper: Hello, ladies! 738 00:40:10,282 --> 00:40:13,327 Ladies? 739 00:40:10,282 --> 00:40:13,327 Bitches? 740 00:40:13,410 --> 00:40:16,372 Scott: Eww! What a rip! There's no nude girls here, 741 00:40:16,455 --> 00:40:18,749 just guys like us looking for nude girls. 742 00:40:18,833 --> 00:40:20,459 I don't understand. 743 00:40:20,543 --> 00:40:24,547 "Crans Sur Mer has one of the best nude beaches on the continent. 744 00:40:24,630 --> 00:40:26,882 However... 745 00:40:29,009 --> 00:40:30,928 during the summer, the European women 746 00:40:31,011 --> 00:40:33,514 are chased away by gawking male tourists, 747 00:40:33,597 --> 00:40:35,808 so Europe's most nubile exhibitionists 748 00:40:35,891 --> 00:40:37,309 head to the deserted beach 749 00:40:37,393 --> 00:40:39,770 right next to the 750 00:40:37,393 --> 00:40:39,770 Monument des Poissonieres." 751 00:40:42,773 --> 00:40:45,401 (girls squeal, giggle) 752 00:40:46,986 --> 00:40:48,863 (speaks in French) 753 00:40:56,036 --> 00:40:58,372 There's so many penises. 754 00:40:58,455 --> 00:41:02,251 Frommer's tried to tell you, but you just didn't listen. 755 00:41:02,334 --> 00:41:04,795 This is the biggest sausage fest on earth. 756 00:41:04,879 --> 00:41:07,464 It's the international house of sausage. 757 00:41:07,548 --> 00:41:09,049 Jenny: Hey! 758 00:41:10,384 --> 00:41:13,762 Thanks for waiting. 759 00:41:10,384 --> 00:41:13,762 You're not missing anything. 760 00:41:13,846 --> 00:41:15,514 It's all guys. 761 00:41:16,599 --> 00:41:18,434 At least the sun's out. 762 00:41:19,894 --> 00:41:22,646 (trance synthesizer playing) 763 00:41:22,730 --> 00:41:26,025 Man: ♪ Dreams come true ♪ 764 00:41:36,410 --> 00:41:39,496 ♪ I made my dreams come true ♪ 765 00:41:40,289 --> 00:41:43,417 ♪ My dreams come true ♪ 766 00:41:45,794 --> 00:41:47,087 Holy crap! 767 00:41:47,171 --> 00:41:49,757 What? I thought this was a nude beach. 768 00:41:50,633 --> 00:41:54,261 No! 769 00:41:57,014 --> 00:41:58,515 Men: Huh? 770 00:41:57,014 --> 00:41:58,515 Jamie: No, no... 771 00:41:58,599 --> 00:42:01,852 What? What are you doing? 772 00:41:58,599 --> 00:42:01,852 Jenny, you gotta cover up. 773 00:42:01,936 --> 00:42:03,687 All: Girl? 774 00:42:03,771 --> 00:42:04,980 Girl! 775 00:42:05,064 --> 00:42:09,318 (chanting) Ooh, girl. Girl... girl. 776 00:42:10,027 --> 00:42:12,571 Girl... girl... 777 00:42:12,988 --> 00:42:14,031 Run! 778 00:42:14,114 --> 00:42:16,158 (Jenny screams) 779 00:42:19,995 --> 00:42:21,872 (men chanting) 780 00:42:19,995 --> 00:42:21,872 I'm not gonna make it. 781 00:42:21,956 --> 00:42:24,875 Go on without me. 782 00:42:21,956 --> 00:42:24,875 All right. See ya. 783 00:42:28,545 --> 00:42:30,130 Chica! Chica! 784 00:42:37,096 --> 00:42:40,140 Chica! Chica! 785 00:42:42,977 --> 00:42:46,188 (soft French music playing) 786 00:42:50,067 --> 00:42:52,403 Are you reading Mieke's old emails again? 787 00:42:52,486 --> 00:42:54,071 Yeah. 788 00:42:55,531 --> 00:42:59,285 I have no idea what I'm going to say to that girl when I see her. 789 00:43:00,577 --> 00:43:03,122 You know, she said I might be the one? 790 00:43:03,956 --> 00:43:05,249 That's huge. 791 00:43:05,332 --> 00:43:09,086 I've never been "the one" before. 792 00:43:09,169 --> 00:43:13,007 Thought I was "the one" with Fiona, but turns out I was, what, 101? 793 00:43:13,090 --> 00:43:15,134 200. 794 00:43:13,090 --> 00:43:15,134 200! 795 00:43:15,217 --> 00:43:17,553 Look, you got nothing to worry about. 796 00:43:17,636 --> 00:43:21,140 You'll show up and sweep her off her German feet. 797 00:43:23,517 --> 00:43:24,893 Thanks. 798 00:43:31,984 --> 00:43:33,569 Yeah. 799 00:43:34,820 --> 00:43:36,488 I will, won't I? 800 00:43:40,200 --> 00:43:41,452 I'm so sad and lonely. 801 00:43:41,535 --> 00:43:44,204 I just wish someone would show up 802 00:43:44,288 --> 00:43:46,623 and sweep me off my German feet. 803 00:43:47,082 --> 00:43:49,460 Mieke! I'm here. 804 00:43:49,960 --> 00:43:51,211 Scotty! 805 00:43:51,295 --> 00:43:53,422 About that last email. I'm so sorry... 806 00:43:53,505 --> 00:43:56,342 the past is the past. You're here now. 807 00:43:57,217 --> 00:43:59,345 I've been saving myself for you. 808 00:44:00,387 --> 00:44:03,307 Let us make love for one whole month. 809 00:44:07,144 --> 00:44:09,396 Touch me, Scotty. 810 00:44:12,775 --> 00:44:14,193 OK. 811 00:44:14,276 --> 00:44:16,570 (Romantic German pop song playing) 812 00:44:32,920 --> 00:44:35,172 Oh, Scott... 813 00:44:35,255 --> 00:44:38,008 Mi bello. 814 00:44:35,255 --> 00:44:38,008 (sighing) 815 00:44:38,092 --> 00:44:39,927 Mi bello. 816 00:44:40,010 --> 00:44:42,346 Man: Mi bello. 817 00:44:44,098 --> 00:44:46,475 Mi bello. 818 00:44:47,101 --> 00:44:48,769 Mi bello. 819 00:44:48,852 --> 00:44:52,523 (slurping) 820 00:44:54,942 --> 00:44:56,110 Mi scusi. 821 00:44:56,193 --> 00:44:59,780 (all screaming) 822 00:44:59,863 --> 00:45:02,116 Mi scusi! 823 00:45:02,199 --> 00:45:06,120 ♪ Hot stuff baby this evening ♪ 824 00:45:06,203 --> 00:45:08,038 ♪ Gotta have some hot stuff ♪ 825 00:45:08,122 --> 00:45:11,041 ♪ Gotta have some love tonight ♪ 826 00:45:11,125 --> 00:45:14,253 Chorus: ♪ Hot stuff ♪ 827 00:45:29,601 --> 00:45:32,229 Scott: Guys, our train doesn't leave till morning. 828 00:45:32,312 --> 00:45:33,605 Where will we sleep tonight? 829 00:45:33,689 --> 00:45:35,149 Cooper: What do you mean, sleep? 830 00:45:35,232 --> 00:45:37,693 We can sleep on the train tomorrow. 831 00:45:37,776 --> 00:45:40,654 This is the best thing that could've happened. We're in Amsterdam! 832 00:45:40,737 --> 00:45:43,991 This is the drug and sex capital of Europe! 833 00:45:44,825 --> 00:45:46,326 Take a look at this. 834 00:45:48,662 --> 00:45:50,622 "Club Vandersexxx." 835 00:45:50,706 --> 00:45:54,418 "The red light district's hottest sex club." 836 00:45:54,501 --> 00:45:56,670 We have to check it out. Who's with me? 837 00:45:57,171 --> 00:45:58,464 I'll go. 838 00:45:58,547 --> 00:46:01,175 Fine. Since no one else is willing to go, 839 00:46:01,258 --> 00:46:03,051 I'll just go myself. 840 00:46:17,858 --> 00:46:20,569 ♪ I see ♪ 841 00:46:20,652 --> 00:46:23,280 ♪ You're waiting for me ♪ 842 00:46:24,448 --> 00:46:27,201 This is definitely where I parked my car. 843 00:46:30,329 --> 00:46:32,206 Woman: Hello there. 844 00:46:34,166 --> 00:46:36,293 Welcome to Club Vandersexxx... 845 00:46:36,376 --> 00:46:39,213 Amsterdam's most erotic club, 846 00:46:39,296 --> 00:46:42,299 where your every fantasy will be fulfilled. 847 00:46:42,382 --> 00:46:45,719 Also says I get a free t-shirt with flyer. 848 00:46:48,180 --> 00:46:51,225 He's American. 849 00:46:51,308 --> 00:46:54,686 How sad for you to grow up in a country founded by prudes. 850 00:46:54,770 --> 00:46:58,732 A country overrun with crime and illiteracy. 851 00:46:59,858 --> 00:47:02,486 A country where a man is forced to make sex 852 00:47:02,569 --> 00:47:04,446 to only one woman at a time, 853 00:47:04,530 --> 00:47:07,324 and one must learn the woman's name beforehand. 854 00:47:07,407 --> 00:47:10,327 It was horrible. 855 00:47:07,407 --> 00:47:10,327 I know. 856 00:47:11,370 --> 00:47:13,330 But you can come with me... 857 00:47:13,413 --> 00:47:16,500 and let the Vandersexxx begin. 858 00:47:19,127 --> 00:47:20,337 (gasping) 859 00:47:20,420 --> 00:47:23,465 ♪ Marijuana in my soul ♪ 860 00:47:24,716 --> 00:47:26,510 ♪ Your iguana in my hall ♪ 861 00:47:26,593 --> 00:47:28,554 Scott: I can't believe we're doing this. 862 00:47:28,637 --> 00:47:31,723 Jenny: Don't worry. Hash brownies are totally legal here. 863 00:47:32,891 --> 00:47:36,270 You're gonna enjoy these, man. These are magical. 864 00:47:37,187 --> 00:47:39,606 ♪ I like to smoke marijuana ♪ 865 00:47:40,524 --> 00:47:43,110 You wanna do this? 866 00:47:40,524 --> 00:47:43,110 Yeah. 867 00:47:45,279 --> 00:47:47,823 (bell ringing) 868 00:47:49,032 --> 00:47:50,284 Hi. 869 00:47:49,032 --> 00:47:50,284 Hi. 870 00:47:50,367 --> 00:47:52,411 I need a new battery for my camera... 871 00:47:52,494 --> 00:47:54,913 and while you're at it, it could use a cleaning. 872 00:47:55,455 --> 00:47:57,332 Wow. 873 00:47:57,416 --> 00:47:59,501 Is that a Leica M6? 874 00:48:00,085 --> 00:48:01,169 Actually, it's an M7. 875 00:48:01,253 --> 00:48:03,338 It's got the built-in light meter. 876 00:48:04,298 --> 00:48:06,466 It's so beautiful. 877 00:48:06,550 --> 00:48:09,177 So sleek, so powerful. 878 00:48:09,261 --> 00:48:10,887 How's the new lens system? 879 00:48:10,971 --> 00:48:14,641 (scoffing) Makes the Nikon look like a disposable. 880 00:48:15,934 --> 00:48:17,936 You really know your cameras. 881 00:48:19,354 --> 00:48:20,981 And you're very cute. 882 00:48:21,064 --> 00:48:23,150 Me? Really? 883 00:48:23,984 --> 00:48:25,444 I'm going on break. 884 00:48:25,527 --> 00:48:28,947 I was going to step out back and have a cigarette. 885 00:48:29,031 --> 00:48:30,240 Would you like to join me? 886 00:48:30,324 --> 00:48:32,659 (wavering) I don't smoke. 887 00:48:34,077 --> 00:48:35,495 Neither do I. 888 00:48:42,711 --> 00:48:44,129 Hold on, hold on. 889 00:48:44,212 --> 00:48:46,048 What is it? 890 00:48:46,131 --> 00:48:47,341 This is great! 891 00:48:47,424 --> 00:48:49,509 You're so innocent. 892 00:48:51,386 --> 00:48:53,597 Let's change that... shall we? 893 00:48:55,349 --> 00:48:57,517 What would you like me to do? 894 00:48:57,601 --> 00:49:00,270 Well... I don't really know... 895 00:49:00,354 --> 00:49:02,022 I guess I really haven't done that much. 896 00:49:02,105 --> 00:49:05,442 I haven't really found the time, with all my extracurricular, 897 00:49:05,525 --> 00:49:10,197 and model U.N., advanced placement classes, after-school tutor... 898 00:49:10,280 --> 00:49:13,116 (unzipping) 899 00:49:10,280 --> 00:49:13,116 ...ing! Ah! 900 00:49:13,200 --> 00:49:16,119 Gosh, you really like cameras! 901 00:49:16,203 --> 00:49:20,540 Sometimes, we find our clients are so overwhelmed with the pleasure, 902 00:49:20,624 --> 00:49:23,418 that they sometimes scream out, "No," 903 00:49:23,502 --> 00:49:25,962 when really they mean "Yes." 904 00:49:27,130 --> 00:49:29,633 And this is why we have the safe word. 905 00:49:31,093 --> 00:49:32,552 The "safe word"? 906 00:49:32,636 --> 00:49:36,223 If at any time the ecstasy gets too great, 907 00:49:36,306 --> 00:49:38,475 you just use the safe word. 908 00:49:39,726 --> 00:49:42,562 Until we hear the safe word, we will not stop. 909 00:49:43,438 --> 00:49:45,524 Yeah, right. Stop. All right. 910 00:49:45,607 --> 00:49:48,610 (laughing) We're going to start slowly, 911 00:49:48,694 --> 00:49:52,739 teasing you with a little light erotic foreplay. 912 00:49:53,448 --> 00:49:55,450 (giggling) Whee! 913 00:49:56,118 --> 00:49:58,203 Oh, yes, ladies! 914 00:49:58,286 --> 00:50:01,581 (barking) On, on, Vandersexxx! 915 00:50:02,457 --> 00:50:04,918 (electric crackle, sizzle) 916 00:50:08,380 --> 00:50:10,424 Hans! Gruber! 917 00:50:10,507 --> 00:50:14,010 (pounding rock music playing) 918 00:50:14,594 --> 00:50:16,430 Hi. 919 00:50:26,314 --> 00:50:29,609 So, are the girls coming back? 920 00:50:29,693 --> 00:50:32,320 Administer the testicle clamps! 921 00:50:32,404 --> 00:50:34,406 Huh? What? Hey! 922 00:50:32,404 --> 00:50:34,406 (fabric ripping) 923 00:50:34,489 --> 00:50:37,701 (music continues) 924 00:50:40,954 --> 00:50:43,790 Safe word! 925 00:50:50,380 --> 00:50:52,716 What is that?! That's not a word, it's a... 926 00:50:52,799 --> 00:50:55,635 (stuttering) "Fluggen-kliggin-kien?" 927 00:50:55,719 --> 00:50:58,722 (zapping) 928 00:50:55,719 --> 00:50:58,722 (agonizing screams) 929 00:50:58,805 --> 00:51:00,724 Fluggen! 930 00:51:00,807 --> 00:51:03,685 (moaning) 931 00:51:05,896 --> 00:51:08,273 OK, mister, don't move. 932 00:51:05,896 --> 00:51:08,273 Excuse me? 933 00:51:08,356 --> 00:51:09,649 (brandishing knife) Shut the hell up! 934 00:51:09,733 --> 00:51:11,526 Oh, brother! Please don't hurt me. 935 00:51:11,610 --> 00:51:14,738 Oh, no... you're fine. That's good. You're fine. 936 00:51:14,821 --> 00:51:16,823 Give me cash? You got cash? 937 00:51:16,907 --> 00:51:19,451 Take it all, you dirty girl. 938 00:51:19,910 --> 00:51:20,952 What? 939 00:51:21,036 --> 00:51:22,913 Your wallet! Focus! 940 00:51:24,331 --> 00:51:26,875 Give it to me. 941 00:51:24,331 --> 00:51:26,875 (loud groaning) Oh! 942 00:51:26,958 --> 00:51:28,835 Oh, I love you! 943 00:51:28,919 --> 00:51:31,254 Jamie: I love you! 944 00:51:31,338 --> 00:51:35,801 I love you! I looove you! 945 00:51:37,552 --> 00:51:40,889 (both giggling) 946 00:51:40,972 --> 00:51:44,017 (high-pitched giggle) 947 00:51:44,768 --> 00:51:48,104 (giggling) 948 00:51:48,188 --> 00:51:50,023 What's so funny? 949 00:51:50,106 --> 00:51:53,443 (distorted sound) 950 00:51:58,031 --> 00:52:00,867 I'm really hungry. I think I've got the munchies. 951 00:52:01,493 --> 00:52:03,078 Excuse me. 952 00:52:01,493 --> 00:52:03,078 Huh? 953 00:52:04,704 --> 00:52:07,624 It's hot in here. You hot? 'cause I'm really hot. 954 00:52:07,707 --> 00:52:10,293 So good. 955 00:52:07,707 --> 00:52:10,293 OK, I can't breathe! God! 956 00:52:11,044 --> 00:52:12,254 I'm freaking out! 957 00:52:12,337 --> 00:52:14,339 I think we got a bad batch 'cause I'm freaking out. 958 00:52:14,422 --> 00:52:16,258 I can't... I can't do this. 959 00:52:16,341 --> 00:52:20,136 I saw a gay porno once. I didn't know until halfway in. 960 00:52:20,220 --> 00:52:23,849 The girls never came. The girls never came! 961 00:52:23,932 --> 00:52:26,977 (hyperventilating) I am freaking out!! 962 00:52:27,060 --> 00:52:30,814 Everything all right with you? 963 00:52:27,060 --> 00:52:30,814 No, nothing's all right. 964 00:52:30,897 --> 00:52:33,108 You sold us a bad batch of hash brownies. 965 00:52:33,191 --> 00:52:35,151 You're a bad Rastafarian. 966 00:52:35,235 --> 00:52:37,946 These are not hash brownies. 967 00:52:38,029 --> 00:52:39,906 Hmm? 968 00:52:41,032 --> 00:52:44,160 What was that? 969 00:52:41,032 --> 00:52:44,160 We do not sell hash brownies. 970 00:52:44,244 --> 00:52:46,413 We're a simple Dutch bakery! 971 00:52:50,250 --> 00:52:52,836 Now put your clothes back on, white boy! 972 00:52:54,462 --> 00:52:57,048 (screaming) Ow! Ow! Ow! 973 00:52:57,132 --> 00:52:59,050 "Fluggengegeholen!" 974 00:52:59,134 --> 00:53:00,510 (cymbals ring) 975 00:53:00,594 --> 00:53:03,513 Did you say fluggegecheimen? 976 00:53:03,597 --> 00:53:04,723 Yes! Yes! 977 00:53:04,806 --> 00:53:07,100 For the love of god, fluggengecheimen! 978 00:53:07,183 --> 00:53:08,852 Are you sure? 979 00:53:08,935 --> 00:53:10,437 Yes, please. 980 00:53:10,520 --> 00:53:12,480 As you wish. 981 00:53:13,523 --> 00:53:15,901 (barking) Bring on the fluggegecheimen! 982 00:53:18,987 --> 00:53:21,031 Wait... what? 983 00:53:21,114 --> 00:53:23,533 Uh-oh. 984 00:53:23,617 --> 00:53:25,994 Cooper: No, no, no! I didn't say fluggegecheimen, 985 00:53:26,077 --> 00:53:27,329 I said, uh... 986 00:53:27,412 --> 00:53:29,915 (frantically mispronouncing) 987 00:53:35,170 --> 00:53:37,172 (rapid buzzing) 988 00:53:47,682 --> 00:53:49,643 What'd you do last night? 989 00:53:51,394 --> 00:53:53,396 I don't want to talk about it. 990 00:53:53,480 --> 00:53:54,981 What did you guys do? 991 00:53:55,065 --> 00:53:57,734 Both: Don't want to talk about it. 992 00:53:59,653 --> 00:54:02,530 What is that? 993 00:53:59,653 --> 00:54:02,530 Free t-shirt. 994 00:54:08,119 --> 00:54:09,788 Hey, guys. 995 00:54:10,622 --> 00:54:12,624 What happened to you? 996 00:54:12,707 --> 00:54:14,417 I got robbed. 997 00:54:14,501 --> 00:54:16,044 It was awesome! 998 00:54:17,754 --> 00:54:20,590 Jenny: All our money, our passports, our tickets... 999 00:54:20,674 --> 00:54:22,592 everything, gone! 1000 00:54:23,760 --> 00:54:25,387 How the hell could this happen? 1001 00:54:25,470 --> 00:54:28,682 We all go to Amsterdam, and Jamie s the one who hooks up! 1002 00:54:30,016 --> 00:54:31,768 For shame! 1003 00:54:34,688 --> 00:54:36,731 (cell phone rings) 1004 00:54:40,443 --> 00:54:42,195 Oh, that's me. 1005 00:54:45,782 --> 00:54:47,575 Coop here. Sorry. 1006 00:54:47,659 --> 00:54:50,704 Hello, Mr. Walters. 1007 00:54:52,539 --> 00:54:53,957 You never got the Gutterman file? 1008 00:54:54,040 --> 00:54:55,959 I told Humphrey to give it to you. 1009 00:54:56,042 --> 00:55:00,630 That's hogwash. I handed it to him myself yesterday. 1010 00:55:00,714 --> 00:55:03,591 Yes, sir, I will tell Humphrey to report to your office immediately. 1011 00:55:03,675 --> 00:55:05,218 Bye. 1012 00:55:07,637 --> 00:55:09,931 This job's killing me. 1013 00:55:07,637 --> 00:55:09,931 (honking) 1014 00:55:17,772 --> 00:55:19,941 (speaks rapid German) 1015 00:55:20,817 --> 00:55:23,403 Uh... 1016 00:55:20,817 --> 00:55:23,403 Let me handle this. 1017 00:55:23,486 --> 00:55:25,238 I speak bad German. 1018 00:55:48,803 --> 00:55:51,556 What did he say? 1019 00:55:48,803 --> 00:55:51,556 ?He said he's driving. 1020 00:55:51,639 --> 00:55:53,183 Oh. 1021 00:55:51,639 --> 00:55:53,183 Something. 1022 00:55:53,266 --> 00:55:54,976 Jah. 1023 00:55:58,605 --> 00:55:59,981 Berlin? 1024 00:56:09,365 --> 00:56:11,034 Berlin? 1025 00:56:09,365 --> 00:56:11,034 Berlin! 1026 00:56:16,623 --> 00:56:18,958 He's going to Berlin! 1027 00:56:16,623 --> 00:56:18,958 Awesome! 1028 00:56:21,086 --> 00:56:23,963 All right! Berlin! 1029 00:56:21,086 --> 00:56:23,963 Come on, let's go! 1030 00:56:32,764 --> 00:56:35,350 Next stop, Berlin! 1031 00:56:35,433 --> 00:56:37,769 (tires screech) 1032 00:56:38,686 --> 00:56:41,731 (German rock music playing) 1033 00:56:45,318 --> 00:56:47,320 (music continues) 1034 00:56:57,122 --> 00:57:00,166 beautiful! We made it to Berlin. 1035 00:57:00,834 --> 00:57:03,002 Jah. Berlin! 1036 00:57:07,674 --> 00:57:09,425 Bratislava? 1037 00:57:07,674 --> 00:57:09,425 Yeah. 1038 00:57:09,509 --> 00:57:11,427 Bratislava! 1039 00:57:11,511 --> 00:57:14,097 (tires screeching) 1040 00:57:16,766 --> 00:57:19,435 Scott: Dear sweet mother of god. 1041 00:57:20,395 --> 00:57:22,272 We're in eastern Europe. 1042 00:57:22,355 --> 00:57:24,774 (Chorus sings) 1043 00:57:24,858 --> 00:57:26,734 Jenny: Eww! 1044 00:57:33,158 --> 00:57:35,368 (snarling) 1045 00:57:43,168 --> 00:57:44,627 Excuse me. 1046 00:57:44,711 --> 00:57:46,838 Do you speak any English? 1047 00:57:47,672 --> 00:57:49,549 You are Americans? 1048 00:57:49,632 --> 00:57:51,551 Yeah. 1049 00:57:51,634 --> 00:57:54,137 I love America. 1050 00:57:54,220 --> 00:57:57,015 We just get "Miami Vice" on television. 1051 00:57:57,098 --> 00:58:00,518 "Miami Vice" is number one new show. 1052 00:58:00,602 --> 00:58:02,020 Yeah. 1053 00:58:02,103 --> 00:58:05,273 Listen, we're trying to get to Berlin, Germany. 1054 00:58:05,356 --> 00:58:07,901 Do you know if there's a train coming anytime soon? 1055 00:58:07,984 --> 00:58:11,279 Oh, yes, very soon. They are building it now. 1056 00:58:15,533 --> 00:58:17,327 Stop! Hammer time! 1057 00:58:18,578 --> 00:58:20,163 Man: Enjoy Bratislava! 1058 00:58:20,246 --> 00:58:22,498 It's good you came in summer. 1059 00:58:22,582 --> 00:58:26,878 In winter, it can get very depressing. 1060 00:58:26,961 --> 00:58:30,548 Jenny: We gotta figure something out. How much money do we have? 1061 00:58:30,632 --> 00:58:32,926 (coins jingling) 1062 00:58:35,762 --> 00:58:37,764 Frommer's travel tip. 1063 00:58:38,932 --> 00:58:40,225 I don't have anything. 1064 00:58:40,308 --> 00:58:43,019 What? I got noth... fine. 1065 00:58:49,734 --> 00:58:52,195 $1.83 American. 1066 00:58:52,278 --> 00:58:54,781 What are we gonna get with that? 1067 00:58:59,953 --> 00:59:02,997 Gotta love that exchange rate! 1068 00:59:04,582 --> 00:59:06,834 Ta. 1069 00:59:09,462 --> 00:59:10,546 Waiter: Dinner is served. 1070 00:59:10,630 --> 00:59:13,132 Would the masters care for anything else? 1071 00:59:13,216 --> 00:59:15,593 Think we're good. Thanks. 1072 00:59:16,803 --> 00:59:19,180 Ah! A nickel! 1073 00:59:21,641 --> 00:59:23,601 You see this? 1074 00:59:23,685 --> 00:59:26,229 I quit! 1075 00:59:23,685 --> 00:59:26,229 (grimacing) 1076 00:59:27,605 --> 00:59:29,941 I open my own hotel! 1077 00:59:37,323 --> 00:59:39,909 Scott: So, we got 27 cents left. 1078 00:59:39,993 --> 00:59:42,370 What is there to do in this town? 1079 00:59:44,247 --> 00:59:47,166 (throbbing techno music playing) 1080 00:59:48,668 --> 00:59:51,796 Girl: ♪ My Scotty ♪ 1081 00:59:48,668 --> 00:59:51,796 Chorus: ♪ Scotty, Scotty ♪ 1082 00:59:51,879 --> 00:59:55,591 Girl: ♪ Scotty doesn't know ♪ 1083 00:59:55,675 --> 00:59:58,344 ♪ Don't tell Scotty ♪ 1084 00:59:59,846 --> 01:00:01,764 ♪ Scotty doesn't know ♪ 1085 00:59:59,846 --> 01:00:01,764 (laughing) 1086 01:00:01,848 --> 01:00:04,183 This song sounds familiar. 1087 01:00:06,686 --> 01:00:08,354 Jenny, lemme check your coat. 1088 01:00:14,569 --> 01:00:16,446 Hey! 1089 01:00:14,569 --> 01:00:16,446 Jenny! 1090 01:00:16,529 --> 01:00:20,325 That outfit is horrible! Just take it off... now! 1091 01:00:20,408 --> 01:00:22,327 (giggling) 1092 01:00:22,410 --> 01:00:24,829 No, but I will let you buy me a drink. 1093 01:00:24,912 --> 01:00:26,664 Man: Excuse me! 1094 01:00:28,207 --> 01:00:30,668 You are the woman from the Paris train station, aren't you? 1095 01:00:30,752 --> 01:00:32,670 My name is... 1096 01:00:30,752 --> 01:00:32,670 Christoph. 1097 01:00:32,754 --> 01:00:34,422 (laughing) Yes. 1098 01:00:34,505 --> 01:00:35,965 What are you doing here? 1099 01:00:36,049 --> 01:00:39,594 This is my place. My family owns many like these throughout Europe. 1100 01:00:39,677 --> 01:00:42,638 I'd be honored if you'd join me in my V.I.P. Room for a drink. 1101 01:00:42,722 --> 01:00:44,515 Mmm-kay. 1102 01:00:46,934 --> 01:00:48,561 Bye, Cooper. 1103 01:00:55,401 --> 01:00:57,820 What's that? 1104 01:00:55,401 --> 01:00:57,820 It's Absinthe. 1105 01:00:57,904 --> 01:00:59,614 Frommer's says it's illegal in the states 1106 01:00:59,697 --> 01:01:02,784 because it makes you hallucinate and go crazy. 1107 01:01:02,867 --> 01:01:05,453 They call it "the green fairy." 1108 01:01:11,793 --> 01:01:14,337 My family has a yacht in the Aegean. 1109 01:01:14,420 --> 01:01:18,007 Come with me, Jennifer. We will sail away together. 1110 01:01:18,549 --> 01:01:19,842 Oh, my God! 1111 01:01:19,926 --> 01:01:23,054 We will swim with dolphins, and sip champagne by moonlight. 1112 01:01:23,638 --> 01:01:25,473 Oh, my God! 1113 01:01:25,556 --> 01:01:28,851 We will spend the day sunbathing, drinking wine. 1114 01:01:28,935 --> 01:01:31,604 My wife makes the best sangria. 1115 01:01:31,687 --> 01:01:33,606 Wait... what? 1116 01:01:33,689 --> 01:01:34,857 Sangria. 1117 01:01:34,941 --> 01:01:36,526 You take a good Spanish rioja, 1118 01:01:36,609 --> 01:01:38,611 and you put in slices of orange, and... 1119 01:01:38,694 --> 01:01:42,073 No, wait. You said you were married? 1120 01:01:43,491 --> 01:01:46,452 You just go around Europe, sleeping with every woman you meet? 1121 01:01:46,536 --> 01:01:49,038 No, please, Jennifer. It is not like that. 1122 01:01:49,122 --> 01:01:51,290 I also sleep with men. 1123 01:01:55,128 --> 01:01:57,547 I gotta say, I'm not feeling anything. 1124 01:01:57,964 --> 01:01:59,132 Me neither. 1125 01:01:59,215 --> 01:02:01,259 Sober as a judge. 1126 01:02:02,802 --> 01:02:03,886 How 'bout you? 1127 01:02:03,970 --> 01:02:05,930 I'm not feeling a goddamn thing. 1128 01:02:06,013 --> 01:02:08,683 This Absinthe is bullshit! 1129 01:02:08,766 --> 01:02:10,435 I hear you, my brother. 1130 01:02:10,518 --> 01:02:12,228 I'm outta here. 1131 01:02:12,770 --> 01:02:13,896 Excuse me. 1132 01:02:13,980 --> 01:02:17,316 Hey, so where's Christoph? 1133 01:02:13,980 --> 01:02:17,316 Shut up. 1134 01:02:19,193 --> 01:02:22,155 (cheering, screaming) 1135 01:02:38,588 --> 01:02:40,381 Scott: Europe! 1136 01:02:38,588 --> 01:02:40,381 Cooper: Europe! 1137 01:02:40,465 --> 01:02:43,217 All: Whoo! 1138 01:02:40,465 --> 01:02:43,217 Jenny: Europe! 1139 01:02:44,719 --> 01:02:46,095 So, tomorrow, Berlin. 1140 01:02:46,179 --> 01:02:48,181 Tomorrow, Mieke! 1141 01:02:54,896 --> 01:02:55,938 Check it out. 1142 01:02:56,022 --> 01:02:57,940 Cooper: No way! 1143 01:02:58,024 --> 01:03:02,069 Jamie's hooking up with another girl? Goddamn it! 1144 01:03:02,153 --> 01:03:04,947 It's just so unfair. I've been all over, 1145 01:03:05,031 --> 01:03:08,409 looking for crazy European sex, and he's the one who ends up... 1146 01:03:08,493 --> 01:03:11,454 (moaning) 1147 01:03:08,493 --> 01:03:11,454 Both: Oh, my God! 1148 01:03:14,081 --> 01:03:17,710 That is some pretty fucked-up shit. 1149 01:03:27,637 --> 01:03:30,014 (screaming) 1150 01:03:30,097 --> 01:03:33,392 They really are the worst twins ever. 1151 01:03:33,976 --> 01:03:35,853 (screaming) 1152 01:04:01,128 --> 01:04:03,589 That was a pretty wild night, eh? 1153 01:04:04,590 --> 01:04:07,218 Yep. Pretty wild, pretty wild. 1154 01:04:10,137 --> 01:04:11,597 I know I was out of control. 1155 01:04:11,681 --> 01:04:13,391 How about you guys? Did you...? 1156 01:04:13,474 --> 01:04:16,102 All right, look. We were really drunk, 1157 01:04:16,185 --> 01:04:19,063 things got a little crazy, and Jamie... 1158 01:04:19,146 --> 01:04:21,566 ...kissed me. 1159 01:04:21,649 --> 01:04:23,526 Let's just forget about it, kay? 1160 01:04:23,609 --> 01:04:25,861 OK, fine. I'll give it a rest. 1161 01:04:28,447 --> 01:04:30,491 Jamie, could I borrow your Frommer's? 1162 01:04:36,247 --> 01:04:37,873 Oh, here it is. Bratislava. 1163 01:04:37,957 --> 01:04:40,293 Hmm. Capital of Slovakia. 1164 01:04:40,376 --> 01:04:42,378 Oh, here's a fun fact. 1165 01:04:43,379 --> 01:04:45,548 You made out with your sister, man! 1166 01:04:45,631 --> 01:04:48,551 Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! 1167 01:04:45,631 --> 01:04:48,551 Like two dogs in heat. 1168 01:04:48,634 --> 01:04:51,345 (screaming) 1169 01:04:48,634 --> 01:04:51,345 (car horn playing Dixie) 1170 01:04:52,888 --> 01:04:54,807 My friends, where is the beef? 1171 01:04:54,890 --> 01:04:57,143 (laughing) 1172 01:04:57,226 --> 01:04:59,770 You go to Berlin? I'm your ride. 1173 01:05:00,563 --> 01:05:01,772 Hop in. 1174 01:05:04,442 --> 01:05:07,570 ("99 Red Balloons" playing) 1175 01:05:28,299 --> 01:05:31,427 Scott: This is Mieke's apartment building. 1176 01:05:31,510 --> 01:05:33,679 Wish me all sorts of luck, guys. 1177 01:05:35,014 --> 01:05:36,724 You'll do great, Scotty. 1178 01:05:39,310 --> 01:05:40,978 Thanks. 1179 01:06:00,539 --> 01:06:02,875 I came all this way. I'm not gonna miss this. 1180 01:06:05,878 --> 01:06:07,713 (doorbell ringing) 1181 01:06:09,882 --> 01:06:12,593 Dude, Mieke's hideous! Run! 1182 01:06:09,882 --> 01:06:12,593 Stop. 1183 01:06:14,220 --> 01:06:17,223 (speaking German) 1184 01:06:24,563 --> 01:06:26,357 Hi, my name is Scott Thomas. 1185 01:06:26,440 --> 01:06:28,442 I'm from America, and I'm here to see Mieke. 1186 01:06:28,526 --> 01:06:31,320 I'm sorry, but Mieke's not here. 1187 01:06:31,404 --> 01:06:32,905 Do you know where she is? 1188 01:06:32,988 --> 01:06:34,782 She's gone for the summer. 1189 01:06:38,577 --> 01:06:40,830 (speaking German) 1190 01:06:49,714 --> 01:06:52,508 My daughter had intended to spend the summer in America, 1191 01:06:52,591 --> 01:06:54,760 looking at colleges and visiting some friends. 1192 01:06:54,844 --> 01:06:57,972 But several days ago, she suddenly changed her mind. 1193 01:06:58,055 --> 01:07:00,015 She would not tell me why. 1194 01:07:00,099 --> 01:07:03,269 I think I know why. 1195 01:07:04,395 --> 01:07:06,689 (speaking German) 1196 01:07:06,772 --> 01:07:07,857 (speaking German) 1197 01:07:07,940 --> 01:07:11,193 This is Heinrich. He's Mieke's stepbrother. 1198 01:07:11,277 --> 01:07:14,447 As I was saying, she packed up her bag and left. 1199 01:07:14,530 --> 01:07:17,324 It was all very sudden. 1200 01:07:14,530 --> 01:07:17,324 Scott: Do you know where she is now? 1201 01:07:17,408 --> 01:07:20,703 Father: As you know, she's always been very interested in the classics, 1202 01:07:20,786 --> 01:07:22,747 Greek and Roman literature and history, 1203 01:07:22,830 --> 01:07:24,707 and she's always enjoyed the ocean, 1204 01:07:24,790 --> 01:07:28,377 so she found a program that combines all her interests. 1205 01:07:28,461 --> 01:07:30,004 Do you know where she is? 1206 01:07:30,087 --> 01:07:34,633 She enrolled in a summer at sea program, based in Rome. 1207 01:07:35,134 --> 01:07:36,719 Rome. 1208 01:07:37,803 --> 01:07:39,847 OK, then I guess we'll go to Rome, then. 1209 01:07:39,930 --> 01:07:42,266 Unfortunately, Mieke's only in Rome for orientation. 1210 01:07:42,349 --> 01:07:46,395 Tomorrow her group boards a boat and she'll be gone for the summer. 1211 01:07:46,479 --> 01:07:49,064 She'll be quite unreachable. 1212 01:07:50,858 --> 01:07:52,777 Unreachable. 1213 01:07:59,158 --> 01:08:01,494 Mieke's tour group goes to the Vatican tomorrow, 1214 01:08:01,577 --> 01:08:04,246 then she gets on that boat and she's gone. 1215 01:08:04,330 --> 01:08:05,956 So, it's over? 1216 01:08:08,918 --> 01:08:11,504 Thanks for sticking with me through this, guys, but... 1217 01:08:11,587 --> 01:08:13,923 you should probably call your parents, 1218 01:08:14,006 --> 01:08:16,091 have them wire you some money and go home. 1219 01:08:17,301 --> 01:08:19,345 What are you gonna do? 1220 01:08:20,304 --> 01:08:22,014 I'm going to Rome. 1221 01:08:22,807 --> 01:08:24,892 I'll walk, I'll hitchhike, 1222 01:08:24,975 --> 01:08:27,770 I'll swim if I have to, but I'll get to Mieke somehow. 1223 01:08:32,566 --> 01:08:34,151 Maybe that'll help. 1224 01:08:34,235 --> 01:08:35,611 Where'd you get all that? 1225 01:08:35,694 --> 01:08:38,697 Wait. Where's your Leica? 1226 01:08:39,365 --> 01:08:40,658 Sold it. 1227 01:08:40,741 --> 01:08:42,660 What? 1228 01:08:43,953 --> 01:08:46,121 You sold your Leica? But you loved that thing. 1229 01:08:46,205 --> 01:08:49,333 What about your photo tour of Europe? What about the chateaus? 1230 01:08:49,416 --> 01:08:52,127 Chateaus have been there for 300 years. 1231 01:08:52,211 --> 01:08:54,588 Mieke's gone in 12 hours. 1232 01:08:56,924 --> 01:08:58,801 Let's go! Frommer's says to check in 1233 01:08:58,884 --> 01:09:01,428 three hours before any international flight. 1234 01:09:01,512 --> 01:09:02,972 Come here, guidebook! 1235 01:09:03,055 --> 01:09:06,725 Whoo! We're going to Rome. We're going to Rome! 1236 01:09:17,194 --> 01:09:18,404 ♪ Be my girl ♪ 1237 01:09:18,487 --> 01:09:21,198 ♪ Be my girl ♪ 1238 01:09:21,282 --> 01:09:23,325 ♪ Are you gonna be my ♪ 1239 01:09:23,409 --> 01:09:25,661 ♪ Girl, yeah ♪ 1240 01:09:25,744 --> 01:09:28,163 ♪ Be my girl ♪ 1241 01:09:28,247 --> 01:09:30,541 ♪ Be my girl ♪ 1242 01:09:30,624 --> 01:09:34,461 ♪ Are you gonna be my girl ♪ 1243 01:09:38,883 --> 01:09:40,759 All right, summer at sea group. 1244 01:09:40,843 --> 01:09:43,470 Our tour begins in the Vatican museum. 1245 01:09:43,554 --> 01:09:45,097 This way, please. 1246 01:09:52,521 --> 01:09:54,106 There it is. 1247 01:09:57,109 --> 01:09:58,861 (speaking Italian) 1248 01:10:00,195 --> 01:10:03,616 This entrance is for private tour groups only. 1249 01:10:05,701 --> 01:10:08,370 Oh... but we are a private tour group. 1250 01:10:08,454 --> 01:10:11,498 We've come all the way from America. 1251 01:10:12,958 --> 01:10:16,128 That guy in the orange jacket is mentally retarded. 1252 01:10:20,633 --> 01:10:22,927 Si, I can tell. 1253 01:10:23,761 --> 01:10:25,721 How very, very sad. 1254 01:10:26,305 --> 01:10:27,723 Yes, it is. 1255 01:10:27,806 --> 01:10:29,808 But if you are a tour, where is your guide? 1256 01:10:29,892 --> 01:10:32,353 We've got a fantastic tour guide. 1257 01:10:32,436 --> 01:10:34,647 Right here. 1258 01:10:32,436 --> 01:10:34,647 What? No... 1259 01:10:38,734 --> 01:10:41,070 The Vatican has been used as a papal residence 1260 01:10:41,153 --> 01:10:43,614 ever since the time of Constantine the great 1261 01:10:43,697 --> 01:10:46,158 of the 5th century A.D.! 1262 01:10:47,368 --> 01:10:49,078 (speaking Italian) 1263 01:10:47,368 --> 01:10:49,078 Oh. 1264 01:10:49,161 --> 01:10:52,706 OK... um... if you'll all follow me, please. 1265 01:10:56,835 --> 01:10:59,588 (speaks slowly) Have a very special day 1266 01:10:59,672 --> 01:11:03,008 for a very special little man. 1267 01:11:04,468 --> 01:11:05,970 OK. 1268 01:11:07,805 --> 01:11:10,224 I can't believe that guy let us in. 1269 01:11:10,307 --> 01:11:11,684 What a retard! 1270 01:11:11,767 --> 01:11:15,145 Let's find Mieke. 1271 01:11:11,767 --> 01:11:15,145 Scusate. 1272 01:11:15,229 --> 01:11:18,107 One of our English-speaking tour guides has called in sick. 1273 01:11:18,190 --> 01:11:20,901 Could you please take these peoples also? 1274 01:11:23,445 --> 01:11:27,157 How big is Vatican City? 1275 01:11:23,445 --> 01:11:27,157 .5 square kilometers. 1276 01:11:27,241 --> 01:11:31,203 Who built the colonnades? 1277 01:11:27,241 --> 01:11:31,203 Gianlorenzo Bernini, 1656. 1278 01:11:31,286 --> 01:11:33,497 Where are the bathrooms? 1279 01:11:31,286 --> 01:11:33,497 Floors 2, 6 and 7. 1280 01:11:33,580 --> 01:11:36,917 Next I'll take you to where the college of cardinals elects a new pope. 1281 01:11:37,001 --> 01:11:41,630 When this happens, white smoke is sent up from the Vatican. Here's a fun fact... 1282 01:11:41,714 --> 01:11:44,425 Mieke's gotta be around here somewhere. 1283 01:11:44,508 --> 01:11:46,218 Let's go. 1284 01:11:54,226 --> 01:11:56,812 Behind me is the appartamento papale, 1285 01:11:56,895 --> 01:12:00,649 or "Papal Apartment." We're obviously not permitted. 1286 01:12:01,775 --> 01:12:03,986 Excuse me, miss. What is this? 1287 01:12:04,862 --> 01:12:06,155 That is the bell of San Marco. 1288 01:12:06,238 --> 01:12:08,240 When the pope dies, the cardinal vicar of Rome 1289 01:12:08,323 --> 01:12:11,076 rings this bell to notify the people of Rome. 1290 01:12:11,160 --> 01:12:14,329 Next we will view the Sistine Chapel. Follow me, please. 1291 01:12:18,542 --> 01:12:20,502 Come on. I think I hear them. 1292 01:12:20,586 --> 01:12:21,879 Which way did they go? 1293 01:12:21,962 --> 01:12:24,465 That way. I'd stake my reputation on it. 1294 01:12:24,548 --> 01:12:26,175 Good enough for me. 1295 01:12:26,258 --> 01:12:29,636 Hey, check it out! I wonder what this does. 1296 01:12:29,720 --> 01:12:31,513 It doesn't do anything, 1297 01:12:31,597 --> 01:12:33,682 it's a rope. Come on, let's go. 1298 01:12:33,766 --> 01:12:36,060 Cooper: They got a lot of old stuff here. 1299 01:12:36,143 --> 01:12:39,730 (bell ringing) 1300 01:12:43,609 --> 01:12:45,611 Dio mio! 1301 01:12:45,694 --> 01:12:48,072 The bell of San Marco! 1302 01:12:49,740 --> 01:12:51,533 The pope is dead! 1303 01:12:51,617 --> 01:12:53,911 (murmuring) 1304 01:12:55,621 --> 01:12:57,372 Whoa. 1305 01:12:59,249 --> 01:13:01,210 She's not in here. 1306 01:13:01,293 --> 01:13:03,796 Let's go. We're definitely not supposed to be in here. 1307 01:13:03,879 --> 01:13:05,923 Hey, check this out! 1308 01:13:06,006 --> 01:13:08,801 I'm the pope! 1309 01:13:06,006 --> 01:13:08,801 Cooper... 1310 01:13:08,884 --> 01:13:11,303 Take off the pope hat. 1311 01:13:11,386 --> 01:13:14,723 Oh, no. It's OK. I'm Catholic. 1312 01:13:11,386 --> 01:13:14,723 Take it off, goddamn it! 1313 01:13:15,808 --> 01:13:18,310 Oh, you took the Lord's name in vain! 1314 01:13:18,393 --> 01:13:20,938 Only I can forgive you now, my son. 1315 01:13:21,021 --> 01:13:22,314 Take that fudging thing off! 1316 01:13:22,398 --> 01:13:24,900 The pope breaks an open-field tackle. 1317 01:13:24,983 --> 01:13:27,736 It's a Hail Mary, he catches at the 40... 1318 01:13:27,820 --> 01:13:30,155 the 30, the 20, the 10... 1319 01:13:30,239 --> 01:13:33,242 Touchdown, pope! 1320 01:13:33,325 --> 01:13:35,994 The pope makes a two-point conversion. 1321 01:13:36,078 --> 01:13:38,789 And oh, my Lord! It's the pope, eight, 1322 01:13:38,872 --> 01:13:41,625 and the heathens, nothing! 1323 01:13:41,708 --> 01:13:42,793 (laughing) 1324 01:13:42,876 --> 01:13:45,671 How's you, sucka? 1325 01:13:45,754 --> 01:13:47,798 (making noises) 1326 01:13:47,881 --> 01:13:49,800 Cooper, the hat! The hat! 1327 01:13:49,883 --> 01:13:51,301 The hat is on fire! 1328 01:13:51,385 --> 01:13:53,554 ♪ We don't need no water let the m... ♪ 1329 01:13:53,637 --> 01:13:55,139 I'm not kidding! Look! 1330 01:13:55,889 --> 01:13:58,183 Oh, holy shit! 1331 01:13:58,851 --> 01:14:00,018 I don't want this! 1332 01:14:00,102 --> 01:14:02,438 Fireplace! Fireplace! Go, go! 1333 01:14:03,730 --> 01:14:05,232 Both: Whoa! 1334 01:14:12,698 --> 01:14:14,908 Man: White smoke! 1335 01:14:14,992 --> 01:14:18,996 They've elected the new pope! 1336 01:14:20,372 --> 01:14:22,499 I'm coming to you live from Vatican square 1337 01:14:22,583 --> 01:14:25,419 where the college of cardinals, in a surprise move, 1338 01:14:25,502 --> 01:14:30,340 has just elected a new pope. The crowd is very excited. 1339 01:14:30,424 --> 01:14:31,967 This is so strange. 1340 01:14:32,050 --> 01:14:35,846 Usually they wait 15 days to elect a new pope. 1341 01:14:35,929 --> 01:14:38,182 We could be seeing history in the making! 1342 01:14:38,265 --> 01:14:41,101 We could be seeing an arrest in the making. 1343 01:14:41,185 --> 01:14:44,021 (coughing) 1344 01:14:48,817 --> 01:14:51,987 There she is. Mieke! 1345 01:14:53,906 --> 01:14:56,408 Hey! Stupid curtain! 1346 01:14:56,950 --> 01:14:58,911 Let me out! 1347 01:15:01,830 --> 01:15:03,790 Mieke! 1348 01:15:03,874 --> 01:15:06,126 It's the new pope! 1349 01:15:06,210 --> 01:15:08,921 (cheering) 1350 01:15:32,277 --> 01:15:35,280 What the hell...? 1351 01:15:39,785 --> 01:15:41,245 Mieke! 1352 01:15:41,828 --> 01:15:44,039 (crowd gasps) 1353 01:15:44,122 --> 01:15:45,457 Scott: Hold on! 1354 01:15:51,505 --> 01:15:53,423 This is one crazy pope. 1355 01:15:54,925 --> 01:15:57,594 (yelling) 1356 01:16:00,472 --> 01:16:02,474 (gasping) 1357 01:16:02,975 --> 01:16:03,976 Man: You! 1358 01:16:04,059 --> 01:16:06,979 Ferma! Stop! You! 1359 01:16:08,939 --> 01:16:12,150 You... and your retarded friend, 1360 01:16:13,235 --> 01:16:15,070 you're in big, big trouble. 1361 01:16:15,153 --> 01:16:16,071 Man: Oy! 1362 01:16:16,154 --> 01:16:19,074 (rock music playing) 1363 01:16:19,157 --> 01:16:21,535 Take your mitts off them boys! 1364 01:16:21,618 --> 01:16:23,328 They're with me! 1365 01:16:26,039 --> 01:16:29,126 I've just about had enough of you fuckin' ities! 1366 01:16:29,751 --> 01:16:31,420 But I am Swiss! 1367 01:16:32,879 --> 01:16:35,048 Them, too! 1368 01:16:40,012 --> 01:16:41,346 Now, bud... 1369 01:16:41,430 --> 01:16:45,017 you get in there, and you say what you got to say. 1370 01:16:45,976 --> 01:16:47,978 Mieke. I'm here. 1371 01:16:48,061 --> 01:16:50,022 I made it. 1372 01:16:52,774 --> 01:16:54,318 Who are you? 1373 01:16:54,901 --> 01:16:56,320 (crowd moans) 1374 01:16:56,403 --> 01:16:58,113 (Bert laughing) 1375 01:16:58,196 --> 01:17:01,533 What a fucking loser! I'm gonna videotape this. 1376 01:17:03,827 --> 01:17:05,746 I'm Scott. 1377 01:17:05,829 --> 01:17:06,955 From Ohio? 1378 01:17:07,039 --> 01:17:10,792 Scott? Scott Thomas? 1379 01:17:10,876 --> 01:17:14,463 Yes. 1380 01:17:10,876 --> 01:17:14,463 From Ohio? 1381 01:17:14,546 --> 01:17:17,507 What are you doing in Rome? 1382 01:17:14,546 --> 01:17:17,507 I came here to be with you. 1383 01:17:17,591 --> 01:17:20,802 Listen, I just traveled all the way across Europe. 1384 01:17:20,886 --> 01:17:23,013 I got chased by naked men. 1385 01:17:23,096 --> 01:17:27,017 I ate brownies with absolutely no drugs in them. 1386 01:17:27,100 --> 01:17:29,561 I watched a brother and sister make out. 1387 01:17:30,896 --> 01:17:34,900 I kicked a robot in the balls, but I did it all so that... 1388 01:17:34,983 --> 01:17:37,277 ...so I could tell you one thing. 1389 01:17:39,946 --> 01:17:41,656 I love you, Mieke. 1390 01:17:41,740 --> 01:17:44,201 Crowd: Aww... 1391 01:17:44,284 --> 01:17:47,079 We're perfect for each other. What do you think? 1392 01:17:48,497 --> 01:17:50,415 I think... 1393 01:18:05,847 --> 01:18:08,141 Oh, mike... Mieke! 1394 01:18:11,937 --> 01:18:14,439 (moaning, gasping) 1395 01:18:21,279 --> 01:18:24,074 Woman: Forgive me, father, for I have sinned. 1396 01:18:24,157 --> 01:18:25,534 I have cheated on my husband. 1397 01:18:25,617 --> 01:18:28,870 Do you think God will ever forgive me? 1398 01:18:28,954 --> 01:18:30,163 (moaning) Oh, yes! 1399 01:18:30,247 --> 01:18:32,541 (Mieke moaning) 1400 01:18:30,247 --> 01:18:32,541 Father? 1401 01:18:35,127 --> 01:18:37,546 (banging) 1402 01:18:35,127 --> 01:18:37,546 (woman screams) 1403 01:18:43,510 --> 01:18:45,303 This sucks. 1404 01:18:45,387 --> 01:18:48,682 I can't believe I'm the only one who didn't hook up while we were here. 1405 01:18:48,765 --> 01:18:51,226 Europe is officially the worst country on Earth. 1406 01:18:52,060 --> 01:18:53,562 I know. 1407 01:18:53,645 --> 01:18:56,523 I thought I'd at least get to have some crazy European sex. 1408 01:19:00,986 --> 01:19:02,737 What? 1409 01:19:08,493 --> 01:19:10,871 (giggling) 1410 01:19:10,954 --> 01:19:13,248 Scott, I have to go. 1411 01:19:10,954 --> 01:19:13,248 OK. 1412 01:19:14,124 --> 01:19:16,251 My boat is leaving. 1413 01:19:16,334 --> 01:19:19,087 I still can't believe you came all the way here, 1414 01:19:19,171 --> 01:19:20,464 just for me. 1415 01:19:20,547 --> 01:19:23,425 What can I say? I'm very unpredictable. 1416 01:19:24,342 --> 01:19:26,845 Keep writing to me, Scott, OK? 1417 01:19:26,928 --> 01:19:29,014 Yeah, I will. 1418 01:19:47,073 --> 01:19:49,576 Yes! Yes! Yes! 1419 01:19:49,659 --> 01:19:51,203 Scott: Whoo-hoo! 1420 01:19:52,704 --> 01:19:56,041 Hey, guys, I'm so glad we got to take this trip together. 1421 01:19:56,124 --> 01:19:58,543 This was the best time of my life. 1422 01:20:02,047 --> 01:20:03,757 Man: Excuse me. 1423 01:20:03,840 --> 01:20:07,385 You're the young man who gave me that tour of the Vatican, aren't you? 1424 01:20:09,804 --> 01:20:12,807 Listen, I'm very sorry... 1425 01:20:09,804 --> 01:20:12,807 I just wanted to thank you. 1426 01:20:12,891 --> 01:20:16,645 You were the most knowledgeable, albeit idiosyncratic, 1427 01:20:16,728 --> 01:20:18,480 tour guide I've ever had. 1428 01:20:19,064 --> 01:20:20,315 Thanks. 1429 01:20:20,398 --> 01:20:22,442 But I'm not actually a tour guide. 1430 01:20:22,526 --> 01:20:25,028 I've just read Frommer's enough to have it memorized. 1431 01:20:25,111 --> 01:20:28,406 Although I threw in a few things Frommer's didn't know about. 1432 01:20:28,490 --> 01:20:30,450 How would you like to add them? 1433 01:20:30,534 --> 01:20:32,077 Excuse me? 1434 01:20:32,160 --> 01:20:34,454 That's my guidebook. 1435 01:20:40,168 --> 01:20:42,254 I'm Arthur Frommer. 1436 01:20:43,755 --> 01:20:45,340 It's amazing! 1437 01:20:45,423 --> 01:20:49,344 Frommer's is going to pay me to see every museum and cathedral in Europe. 1438 01:20:49,427 --> 01:20:53,431 (laughing) 1439 01:20:49,427 --> 01:20:53,431 That sounds so exciting... 1440 01:20:53,515 --> 01:20:54,975 for you. 1441 01:20:55,976 --> 01:20:58,311 I figured, since you're going to be staying, 1442 01:20:58,395 --> 01:21:00,146 you might need this. 1443 01:21:01,106 --> 01:21:03,817 A disposable camera. 1444 01:21:01,106 --> 01:21:03,817 That's right. 1445 01:21:03,900 --> 01:21:04,859 Thanks, Scotty. 1446 01:21:04,943 --> 01:21:06,361 That's from both of us. 1447 01:21:06,444 --> 01:21:09,531 (cell phone plays "Scotty Doesn't Know") 1448 01:21:14,953 --> 01:21:16,830 Hello, Mr. Walters. 1449 01:21:16,913 --> 01:21:18,206 I see. 1450 01:21:18,290 --> 01:21:20,584 Fired? Well, I... 1451 01:21:20,667 --> 01:21:24,713 well, if that's what you want, I understand. I just... 1452 01:21:25,297 --> 01:21:27,716 Goodbye, sir. 1453 01:21:27,799 --> 01:21:29,384 They had to catch you eventually, right? 1454 01:21:29,467 --> 01:21:31,386 No, they fired Humphrey. 1455 01:21:29,467 --> 01:21:31,386 Shut up! 1456 01:21:31,469 --> 01:21:33,096 I got his office and a raise. 1457 01:21:33,179 --> 01:21:34,723 No! 1458 01:21:33,179 --> 01:21:34,723 (laughing) 1459 01:21:34,806 --> 01:21:38,143 Announcer: Flight 341 from Rome to Cleveland... 1460 01:21:38,768 --> 01:21:39,811 That's you guys. 1461 01:21:39,894 --> 01:21:41,730 Have a good flight, everybody. 1462 01:21:39,894 --> 01:21:41,730 Come here. 1463 01:21:45,150 --> 01:21:46,568 Be good. 1464 01:21:46,651 --> 01:21:49,070 Oh! OK... 1465 01:21:46,651 --> 01:21:49,070 (grunting) 1466 01:21:50,822 --> 01:21:52,866 Cooper, have a good flight. 1467 01:21:50,822 --> 01:21:52,866 (grunting) Be good. 1468 01:21:53,575 --> 01:21:54,826 Thanks. 1469 01:22:27,275 --> 01:22:28,860 I'm on it. 1470 01:22:35,241 --> 01:22:37,786 (gasping) 1471 01:22:35,241 --> 01:22:37,786 (bell tone) 1472 01:22:37,869 --> 01:22:40,455 Cooper: This still counts as Europe, right? 1473 01:22:49,881 --> 01:22:51,341 Scott: "Dear Mieke, 1474 01:22:51,424 --> 01:22:53,843 Greece sounds incredible. 1475 01:22:53,927 --> 01:22:55,929 I just moved into my dorm room today, 1476 01:22:56,012 --> 01:22:58,556 but I can't wait to see you over Christmas break. 1477 01:22:58,640 --> 01:23:01,768 This time I think I'll fly to Berlin direct." 1478 01:23:01,851 --> 01:23:03,561 (phone ringing) 1479 01:23:08,817 --> 01:23:09,609 Hello? 1480 01:23:09,693 --> 01:23:11,361 Hey buddy, how's college? 1481 01:23:11,444 --> 01:23:13,947 I just got here. My roommate hasn't even showed up yet. 1482 01:23:14,030 --> 01:23:16,366 Do they room all you pre-med geeks together? 1483 01:23:16,449 --> 01:23:18,201 I'm not sure I'm going pre-med. 1484 01:23:18,284 --> 01:23:20,203 I'm thinking about majoring in German. 1485 01:23:20,286 --> 01:23:22,038 German? I've got a better idea. 1486 01:23:22,122 --> 01:23:24,833 Why don't you major in not being such a woman? 1487 01:23:24,916 --> 01:23:26,334 So, how's Jenny? 1488 01:23:26,418 --> 01:23:28,169 Jenny... Jenny who? 1489 01:23:28,253 --> 01:23:30,839 I know a lot of ladies named Jenny, they're all... 1490 01:23:30,922 --> 01:23:32,716 Ow! 1491 01:23:34,092 --> 01:23:35,343 Hey, Scotty, what's up? 1492 01:23:35,427 --> 01:23:37,095 Hi, Jenny! 1493 01:23:37,178 --> 01:23:39,097 How's Jamie doing with Frommer? 1494 01:23:39,180 --> 01:23:40,432 Oh, no. 1495 01:23:40,515 --> 01:23:42,475 (robotic noises) 1496 01:23:45,145 --> 01:23:46,771 Hold on. 1497 01:23:47,439 --> 01:23:48,815 Come here, robot! 1498 01:23:48,898 --> 01:23:50,775 Cooper, not again! 1499 01:23:50,859 --> 01:23:51,818 (knocking) 1500 01:23:51,901 --> 01:23:53,945 Hold on, this could be my new roommate. 1501 01:24:00,410 --> 01:24:02,203 Cooper: What's the freak look like? 1502 01:24:02,287 --> 01:24:06,207 Is he a dork or is he cool? Better not be cooler than me. 1503 01:24:06,291 --> 01:24:07,876 Cooper: Is he bigger than me? 1504 01:24:07,959 --> 01:24:11,004 I just got your last email. What are you doing here? 1505 01:24:11,629 --> 01:24:14,132 Going to college. 1506 01:24:14,215 --> 01:24:15,925 You're going to college here? 1507 01:24:17,177 --> 01:24:18,386 What dorm? 1508 01:24:18,470 --> 01:24:19,721 This one. 1509 01:24:19,804 --> 01:24:21,431 Room 214. 1510 01:24:24,642 --> 01:24:27,437 How is this possible? 1511 01:24:27,520 --> 01:24:29,689 I guess they thought I was a guy. 1512 01:24:29,773 --> 01:24:33,318 Now who would be dumb enough to make a mistake like that? 1513 01:24:42,535 --> 01:24:44,162 Cooper: Do I hear kissing? 1514 01:24:44,245 --> 01:24:47,749 Are you making out with your new roommate, Scotty? 1515 01:24:48,416 --> 01:24:50,627 (giggling) 1516 01:24:50,710 --> 01:24:52,420 Cooper: Scotty? 1517 01:24:52,504 --> 01:24:54,589 Scotty? Scotty! 1518 01:24:54,672 --> 01:24:57,801 ♪ Scotty doesn't know that Fiona and me ♪ 1519 01:24:57,884 --> 01:25:00,345 This happy ending is bullshit. 1520 01:25:00,428 --> 01:25:02,972 When does the fairy get laid? I'm outta here. 1521 01:25:03,056 --> 01:25:06,893 ♪ Still she's on her knees and Scotty doesn't know ♪ 1522 01:25:06,976 --> 01:25:10,605 ♪ Oh, Scotty doesn't know ♪ 1523 01:25:10,688 --> 01:25:12,899 Catchy tune. 1524 01:25:10,688 --> 01:25:12,899 Fuckin'-a, man. 1525 01:25:17,028 --> 01:25:20,865 ♪ Fiona says she's out shopping ♪ 1526 01:25:22,200 --> 01:25:27,080 ♪ But she's under me and I'm not stopping ♪ 1527 01:25:27,163 --> 01:25:31,543 (chanting) Scotty doesn't know! Scotty doesn't know! 1528 01:25:31,626 --> 01:25:32,961 Scotty doesn't know! 1529 01:25:33,044 --> 01:25:34,629 Hello, and welcome to 1530 01:25:34,712 --> 01:25:38,466 Amsterdam's finest and most luxurious youth hostel. 1531 01:25:38,550 --> 01:25:39,843 Sounds great. 1532 01:25:39,926 --> 01:25:41,970 There is no bathroom, nor is there one nearby. 1533 01:25:42,053 --> 01:25:46,933 Donny: ♪ I can't believe He's so trusting ♪ 1534 01:25:48,226 --> 01:25:49,769 (giggles) Sorry. 1535 01:25:49,853 --> 01:25:53,356 ♪ While I'm right behind you thrusting ♪ 1536 01:25:53,439 --> 01:25:54,941 Get it? 1537 01:25:53,439 --> 01:25:54,941 She got it. 1538 01:25:55,024 --> 01:25:58,278 If you do not wish to have your valuables stolen, 1539 01:25:58,361 --> 01:26:02,532 I suggest destroying them or discarding them right now. 1540 01:26:02,615 --> 01:26:06,369 You can also try hiding your valuables... 1541 01:26:06,452 --> 01:26:07,954 in your anus. 1542 01:26:08,037 --> 01:26:09,163 Drink? 1543 01:26:14,711 --> 01:26:17,630 I'm gonna rip away his pants and look at his dick, OK? 1544 01:26:17,714 --> 01:26:19,757 (laughing) 1545 01:26:17,714 --> 01:26:19,757 Ready? Quit. Shut up. 1546 01:26:19,841 --> 01:26:21,843 Sorry. I know I fucked it up. 1547 01:26:22,594 --> 01:26:23,887 Yes! You take her hair... 1548 01:26:23,970 --> 01:26:27,682 and one strand at a time, pull it out! 1549 01:26:28,558 --> 01:26:30,852 Use her like a humping post! 1550 01:26:31,561 --> 01:26:32,896 Jenny, this is Europe. 1551 01:26:32,979 --> 01:26:35,773 They have orange juice ads with lesbians and dildos. 1552 01:26:37,317 --> 01:26:38,985 Announcer: "Happy juice." 1553 01:26:40,278 --> 01:26:42,697 Show them something they haven't seen before. 1554 01:26:43,865 --> 01:26:46,034 ♪ Fiona's got him on the phone ♪ 1555 01:26:46,117 --> 01:26:49,370 ♪ And she's trying not to moan ♪ 1556 01:26:49,454 --> 01:26:53,207 ♪ It's a three-way call and he knows nothing ♪ 1557 01:26:53,291 --> 01:26:55,084 ♪ Nothing Scotty doesn't know ♪ 1558 01:26:55,168 --> 01:26:58,463 ♪ Scotty doesn't know Scotty doesn't know ♪ 1559 01:26:58,546 --> 01:27:01,883 Should a fire occur, due to our faulty wiring, 1560 01:27:01,966 --> 01:27:06,554 or the fireworks factory upstairs, you will be incinerated, 1561 01:27:06,638 --> 01:27:10,058 along with the valuables you have hidden in your anus. 1562 01:27:10,141 --> 01:27:12,560 ♪ So don't tell Scotty Scotty doesn't know ♪ 1563 01:27:12,644 --> 01:27:14,228 ♪ Really want to go ♪ 1564 01:27:14,312 --> 01:27:16,898 ♪ Scotty doesn't know Scotty doesn't know ♪ 1565 01:27:16,981 --> 01:27:20,401 ♪ Scotty doesn't know ♪ 1566 01:27:20,485 --> 01:27:23,071 ♪ The parking lot 1567 01:27:23,154 --> 01:27:24,781 ♪ Why not? ♪ 1568 01:27:24,864 --> 01:27:27,784 ♪ It's so cool when you're on top ♪ 1569 01:27:27,867 --> 01:27:30,328 (bubbling) 1570 01:27:27,867 --> 01:27:30,328 (giggling) 1571 01:27:30,411 --> 01:27:32,872 ♪ Life is so hard 'cause Scotty doesn't know ♪ 1572 01:27:32,956 --> 01:27:34,749 ♪ Scotty doesn't know ♪ 1573 01:27:34,832 --> 01:27:37,543 Fuck off! Get out of it, you wankers! 1574 01:27:37,627 --> 01:27:39,420 Go on, you Gaelic fucking 1575 01:27:39,504 --> 01:27:41,506 garlic-breath tossers! 1576 01:27:41,589 --> 01:27:43,716 Piss off! Get in here and say that, mate! 1577 01:27:43,800 --> 01:27:46,260 Come on! Fucking come and have it! 1578 01:27:46,344 --> 01:27:47,887 You fucking beep? 1579 01:27:47,971 --> 01:27:51,099 We'll beep, you bastard, all over your fucking nose! 1580 01:27:51,182 --> 01:27:52,475 Fuck off! 1581 01:27:52,558 --> 01:27:54,477 Go on, you French bastards! 1582 01:27:54,560 --> 01:27:57,438 Get on the other side of the road, you pricks! 1583 01:27:57,522 --> 01:27:58,982 Go on out of it! 1584 01:27:59,065 --> 01:28:00,525 Fuck off! 1585 01:28:00,608 --> 01:28:01,943 I'm nackered. 1586 01:28:02,026 --> 01:28:03,820 (laughing) 1587 01:28:02,026 --> 01:28:03,820 League supporters. 1588 01:28:03,903 --> 01:28:07,156 ♪ Scotty doesn't know Scotty doesn't know ♪ 1589 01:28:07,240 --> 01:28:09,575 (laughing) 1590 01:28:07,240 --> 01:28:09,575 No, wait... 1591 01:28:15,081 --> 01:28:17,959 Hey! Check these out! I'm 18 years old. 1592 01:28:18,042 --> 01:28:21,421 ♪ Gonna tell Scotty gonna tell myself ♪ 1593 01:28:21,504 --> 01:28:24,882 ♪ Scotty has to know Scotty has to know ♪ 1594 01:28:24,966 --> 01:28:27,260 ♪ Scotty has to Scotty has to go ♪ 1595 01:28:27,343 --> 01:28:30,138 ♪ Scotty doesn't know Scotty doesn't know ♪ 1596 01:28:30,221 --> 01:28:32,265 ♪ Scotty doesn't know Scotty doesn't know ♪ 1597 01:28:32,348 --> 01:28:35,476 ♪ Scotty doesn't know Scotty doesn't know ♪ 1598 01:28:35,560 --> 01:28:40,314 ♪ Scotty doesn't know Scotty doesn't know ♪ 1599 01:28:40,398 --> 01:28:43,568 Scotty doesn't know! Scotty doesn't know! 1600 01:28:43,651 --> 01:28:47,071 Scotty doesn't know! Scotty doesn't know! 1601 01:28:47,155 --> 01:28:51,284 Crowd: Scotty doesn't know! 1602 01:28:47,155 --> 01:28:51,284 (yelling) 1603 01:28:52,368 --> 01:28:53,911 Crew Member: Scotty's gotta go! 1604 01:28:53,995 --> 01:28:56,873 ("Get loose" playing) 1605 01:29:54,388 --> 01:29:56,307 Is it off yet? 1606 01:29:56,390 --> 01:29:58,309 No, keep rubbing it.